The phrases people use to describe where they are in life never cease to amaze and amuse me. In the new 10th Anniversary Edition of 48 Days to the Work You Love I share just a few of the revealing statements about where people see themselves:
- 51-year-old businessman — “I feel like I’ve lived my whole life by accident.”
- Wife of professor — “I feel like we have been free-falling for the last 13 years.”
- Salesman — “I feel like I’m a ball in a pinball machine.”
- 56-year-old (PhD. in Theology currently driving a bus) — “I feel like I’ve been given six seconds to sing, and I’m singing the wrong song.”
- 53-year-old businessman — “I feel like my life is a movie that’s almost over, and I haven’t even bought the popcorn yet.”
- Collection Agent — “I’ve lived my life up until now as though driving with the parking brake on.”
- 46-year-old “successful” car salesman — “I feel like a lost ball in tall cotton.”
- 39-year-old automotive engineer — “I’m a butterfly caught in a spider’s web, with my life slowly being sucked out.”
- 27-year-old computer specialist — “I’m a box of parts and nothing fits together.”
- 31-year-old attorney — “Law school sucked all the life and creativity out of me.”
- 55-year-old dentist — “Failing in my practice knocked the wind out of my sails. Still waiting for a breeze to bring me in.”
Recently I received the pre-coaching information profile from a 40-yr-old teacher. He wrote, “I feel like I got on the wrong boat, 
and now my life is half over.” Wow – what a painful statement about moving along in this journey called life. Are you clear on where you are going? Do you know your purpose – your calling? If not, why not? How can we find fulfillment, peace and meaning without being clear on our “mission” in life?
In sharing this with my wife, Joanne, she paused and then related her absolute confidence in knowing what she was sent here to do. She can’t imagine being unclear or confused about her mission at this stage in her life. Yes, it’s a process – but if we pay attention to the signs along the way, the path ought to become clear.
Four things must be blended for you to have the confidence of living out your purpose:
- Your Skills & Abilities
- Your Personality Traits
- Your Values, Dreams & Passions
- A ready market for what you produce
There should be enough information from these four areas to help you identify your direction and purpose. It’s not something superimposed from the outside – looking at yourself and what God has already revealed to you should give you a clear starting point.
This same gentleman continued in response to this question: If the doctor told you today you had 6 months to live, what would you do in those remaining months? He writes, “I would apologize to God every day that I couldn’t find what it was I was sent here to do.” If this is where you are today, commit to change tomorrow. Don’t let that be the final summary of your life.
Here is the complete list of questions I ask prior to coaching: https://www.48days.com/coaching-application/
Greetings Dan,
I am of the same vintage as those at the top of your list above. Those old obsolete views about work that we have subscribed to seldom included knowing yourself but rather working hard and doing what was expected to succeed. It is a mystery to me, why for some of us it is so difficult to unlearn what we have learned to paraphrase Yoda. The definition of success certainly has changed. In my case, work ethic was never an issue, my thought has always been, to be successful in any role, you will work hard. Working in a dynamic environment, I was always adapting and learning. Perhaps because I was able to adapt, I did not know myself nearly well enough. The jig was eventually up, I got so far away from how I am wired and my greatest strengths that I had my own significant failure. Still working at it and listening to my life to an extent I never had. From my perspective, knowing yourself is an absolute must to be successful.
Thanks,
Paul,
The changes of the last few years have served as a wake up call for lots of people. To take a fresh look at their unique passions and talents and to reengage those in meaningful work. Trying to perform based on raw ability is not enough for fulfilling, meaningful work. I commend you on “listening to your life.” That’s not selfish – it’s the only way to release the very best we have to offer the world.
I love this Dan. Thank you for sharing! As a coach who helps people find their purpose and live it out, having skills and abilities is not enough. We must also be able to plug an income model into what we love to do. You teach that expectionally well.
Jevonnah – yep, we’ve got to find that “right” boat or hard work won’t get us anywhere.