Joanne and I address the negative spouse issue. Two months ago my podcast theme was Stay Away From Negative People. I talked about my 3-hour rule where I’ll spend 3 hours a year with negative friends but certainly not 3 days or 3 weeks on a vacation.
Well, I knew there was the elephant in the room and didn’t address it fully. I had a whole lot of you ask this question:
“Dan, I just listened to your podcast about staying away from negative people. What if the negative person is my wife?”
I got both – what if it’s my wife, and what if it’s my husband? And I heard from people who said, “Dan, I am the negative one. How can I stop?”
In this episode I asked my wife Joanne to join me and respond to the wisdom you, the listeners, submitted.
Renowned businessman Jim Rohn once said, “You’re the average of the five people you spend most of your time with.”
Here’s a recap of the 5 steps for addressing negativity in a marriage relationship:
- Recognize “security” is not just money in the bank. Emotional security includes affirmation, support and encouragement.
- Acknowledge different personality styles. There are not “good or bad” , “right or wrong” styles – just different. See the added value of having different perspectives.
- Look for the “fear” behind the negativity. Have you let the person down at previous times?
- Recognize not hitting a goal is not always “failure.” It may be the very step required for your ultimate success.
- Listen more talk less. Let your actions convince your spouse rather than your words.
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