Is just being a housewife outmoded? 

Episode #952 December 08, 2023

A listener asks: All I want to do is be a housewife taking care of my husband and children. However, I am scared to share this dream with anyone because I think being a housewife is outmoded and I may be making a bad choice. Dan, what should I do?

So what do you think? Is being a full-time housewife just an old outdated Leave it to Beaver career choice. Or is it still a legitimate option today?

Does it have to be an either/or choice or could you find a creative option that combines the best of both worlds?

Well, let’s talk about it – we’re right here at Christmas time and it’s a wonderful opportunity to dream and plan for the work and life you love in the coming year.

So, grab your cup of ginger tea – or maybe your Mt. Dew – and get ready for a power-packed episode filled with practical advice, inspiring stories, and valuable resources to help maximize your opportunities.

Questions:

I’m staying in a job that I don’t love because my husband is pursuing a career in freelance art so we need my income to pay the bills.

There’s a couple things I want to address in here. You said that you really would like to stay at home, and you say, obviously, this would bring in no money. I want you to see some more possibilities than just your income stops, and now you’re just at home.

I recommend you check out 48 Low or No Cost Business Ideas. There are all kinds of ideas in there for things you can do where you spend a couple hours a day or spend one weekend a month and bring in a couple thousand dollars. So there’s certainly ways you can do both. Don’t just see it as black and white, one or the other.

Also, I would recommend that you and your husband agree on some timelines. Don’t just hope that his freelance art takes off. Set some reasonable commitments for what that looks like. In times when I was chasing a new dream, I always had something I was doing that would provide for our basic family needs first.

You guys have to decide what that looks like for you. If you agree that you both want you to have the freedom to be at home, then create a timeline. Maybe one year from now, January 2025, where you’re gonna quit your job. Then you have a year for your husband to replace your income and get you up to where you decide that it’s an okay income for your family. Decide what he must be creating for at least 4 months in a row. If he’s not doing that, then he agrees to find work that’s more profitable. And in that year, you can explore things that you might do totally from home.

All I want to do is be a housewife taking care of my husband and children. However, I am scared to share this dream with anyone because I think being a housewife is outmoded and I may be making a bad choice.

Choosing to be a housewife is a very personal decision. It can certainly be a respectable choice if it aligns with your values and your aspirations. It’s important to remember there’s no one size fits all.

So it comes down to you looking at your own personal fulfillment. Now clearly, you have to communicate with your husband on this so you have agreement on this. But if it’s your heart’s desire, then he ought to respect that. And that’s certainly been my wife’s desire is to be at home. And I’ve supported that because that’s what’s so meaningful to her, and she does it with excellence. Now certainly there may be financial considerations, but hopefully, you’ve never put yourself in a position where you have to have two incomes.

Ultimately, the decision to become a housewife is a personal one. There’s no universally right or wrong choice. What matters most is that you make a decision that aligns with your values, what you and your husband see is important, what brings you a sense of happiness and fulfillment. If being a housewife is what you truly want, then believe me, it’s a respectable choice.

And believe me, there is a lot more to being a housewife than society often gives credit — organizing, project management, marketing, public relations, budgeting and financial management.

I personally don’t see being a housewife as outmoded. I see it as a very creative opportunity to be your very best in so many different areas.

I love the idea of being an entrepreneur but my problem is that I just don’t have an idea yet of what that looks like for me.

What I encourage you to do is create a list of 20 things you think you’d like to do. There ought to be a lot of things that you could imagine.

Then filter those ideas through the lens of what you know about yourself. Now this is where it really gets personal. Go back to what you know about yourself, those basic things that I talk about in 48 Days To the Work and Life You Love — your skills and abilities, your personality traits, your values, dreams, and passions.

Narrow that list down to 4 or 5 ideas. Then do a little bit more research. Choose one and take action.

This doesn’t mean that all the other ideas wouldn’t have worked or that you can’t come back to another idea sometime later. But to really get traction, you have to choose one and act.

Should I give up a potential better salary for my contentment?

Don’t assume that following your passion and in your terms, “looking for contentment” will decrease your income. In fact, I would expect the opposite to be true. So many times I’ve seen people get trapped in doing what they think is practical and realistic because there’s a good income connected with it and ignoring their passion where they could potentially have 10 times the income., even if it’s unusual, even if it’s seen by other people as not being practical and realistic.

I am a high S on the disc profile and don’t think I have much to offer.

Here at 48 Days, we talk about the DISC Personality Profile. It’s DISC.

A High D, we assume is pretty opinionated, hard driving, kind of in your face, high pressure salespeople. Now I’m exaggerating clearly.

High Is are very gregarious, outgoing, social people. They want to be in groups. Nobody’s a stranger. They break the silence in the elevator, want to be on stage, cheerleaders, those kind of people.

Ss then are, as Keith describes, are more quiet, more behind the scenes, like to keep things predictable, don’t ruffle any feathers. They are loyal, brave, and true.

And then Cs are the people who are really analytical, very organized. These are the people you want as book keepers, accountants, architects, and so on.

As a High S, you’re in the highest group of people that we have in the Eagles community.

I put this question out in the Eagles Community, and here are few of their thoughts:

“Steady, dependable people are the backbone of any venture. If it’s your persistent dependability that will allow you to keep moving forward when others who depend on the next new thing for motivation will quit. You have a lot to teach others about how to be consistent in the face of changing circumstances. In addition, you’re the voice of reason, allowing idea people to understand how their dreams can tie back into the rest of the world.”

“High S folks aren’t as prone to start a biz, but they do great business if they will. I’m high I and D and have no problem starting businesses. Running them, well, that’s another issue.”

Quotation:

“I believe that a godly home is a foretaste of heaven. Our homes, imperfect as they are, must be a haven from the chaos outside. They should be a reflection of our eternal home, where troubled souls find peace, weary hearts find rest, hungry bodies find refreshment, lonely pilgrims find communion, and wounded spirits find compassion.” Jani Ortlund

Resource: 

Understanding who you are and what opportunities are out there is the first step toward creating the future you’re excited about! Get my 11-page workbook Who Are You and Why Are You Here at 48Days.com/why