I heard a story about a man riding a horse at breakneck speed. It appears he’s going someplace very important. A man standing along the roadside shouts, “Where are you going?” To which the rider yells back, “I don’t know. Ask the horse.”
This seems to be essentially the story I’m hearing from lots of people today. They’re riding the horse of circumstances, their habits or other people’s expectations. If that describes you, it’s time to grab the reins and move your life in the direction of where you really want to go.
I’m currently working with a very prominent lady – the CEO of an international company. But recent events are signaling that it’s time for her to exit and map out a better fit for her work and life direction. As part of my follow up letter I wrote,
“Please be aware of how often you say ‘I had no choice.’ You said that multiple times yesterday and I cringed each time. Regardless of the events that unfolded when you say “I have no choice” you are giving up control to circumstances or other people. And with that you will in fact be a victim of circumstances – and thus become a puppet of outside forces. You always have a choice – and I want you to recognize that in every situation you can choose. The options may look grim but you still get to choose as you move ahead.”
One of the defining moments of my life occurred when I was about 13 years old. The direction of my life was pretty clear. My dad was a farmer – and expected me to help him and to eventually take over the family farm. I acknowledged that because of my circumstances and the family I was born into, farming would in fact be my future. I assumed I had no choice.
Then I somehow got a copy of the little 33.3 rpm recording of Earl Nightingale called The Strangest Secret. The central message was this – We become what we think about. That opened a door to a whole new world of possibilities for me that has never been closed.
What are you thinking about? If your mind is controlled by the bad economy, the recession, the unemployment, the unfairness of the company, the hurt of a past relationship, or the limitations of your formal education, your “horse” will be taking you toward scarcity, misery, and unhappiness. You’ll convince yourself you have no choice.
I hear statements like these every day:
- I have a job I hate – but I don’t have a choice.
- I’d like a new car but I don’t have a choice.
- I didn’t want to borrow $100,000 for my education but I had no choice.
- I didn’t want to file bankruptcy but I had no choice.
- I did’t want to sign my name on the loan documents but I had no choice.
And of course that’s never true. We always have choices. Don’t give up control of your life by saying “I have no choice.” List three alternatives for any decision you’re confronting.
Today, I again enjoy many things about farm life, and love the pleasures of living in the country on our little farm today. But what I saw as limitations are gone. Today I choose to have a John Deere tractor and make time to enjoy a little mowing, a little planting and the creation of the beautiful gardens that grace our property.
Where is your thinking taking you? Is some wild horse of circumstances misdirecting you, or are you moving exactly in the direction of your dreams? Do you have no choice about the life you’re living?
Click here to watch a 3 minute video of The Strangest Secret that opened my eyes to the choices I had.
“Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things…..and the God of peace shall be with you.” (Phil 4: 8-9 KJV)
Wow! What a great post and powerful reminder of our responsibility in choosing our futures. Thank you Dan!
Love it Dan! I was reflecting on this today;) the chains and limitations I can put on myself and blame others is endless. Thanks for a great post.
I will never again say, “I had no choice”. We always have choices and our lives will be so much better if we make better (and sometimes harder) ones!
Greetings Dan,
An example of a self limiting belief. It would be interesting to know whether such folks have a healthy support system, advisors and the like. As they say, we all have blind spots. All of us need the help and counsel of others to overcome. Being mindful of our self talk is big deal and an area of focus for me this year. So far so good!
Very wise words. There is ALWAYS a choice!
Amen and Amen!!!
Would it be too harsh to compare “I had no choice” in 2015 to “We were just following orders” in 1945 at Nuremberg?
This is an ever present theme in my life these days. From Scripture to thinkers like Benjamin Franklin, Winston Churchill, Andy Andrews, and my very own dad, the theme resounds. Even when I was a child my dad reminded me that no decision is still a decision. There IS always a choice. And how and what we think is how we make our choices. I am striving to grasp this and hopefully choosing to think, and to act, wisely.