The roots of burnout often run deep—much deeper than we realize. Most people drift into burnout. We often don’t realize we are burned out until we experience a crisis or severe symptoms we cannot ignore. We often deny the term “burnout” and, instead, tell ourselves things like:
- All I need to do is plan better and be more efficient in my job and home responsibilities.
- It’s my workplace/employer. If I find a better job, everything will be OK.
- This is just a season, and everyone feels this way at some point. I just need to be responsible and stick it out.
- If only my family/partner would be more supportive and understand that work is crazy right now! If they would just pick up the slack around the house so I could get some rest occasionally, everything would be OK!
- I just need to reach [a specific goal] and then I will make the necessary changes.
I (Michelle) told myself similar things for many years. I didn’t take the time for self-reflection to recognize my burnout and its causes. After a particularly crazy year in a new role, I finally did realize that I needed some boundaries on work time, but I still didn’t recognize that my mindset around work was part of the roots of burnout I hadn’t yet uncovered.
Finally, in my last couple of years of corporate life, after going through a massive reorganization, I realized that my perspective on work had shifted. Work just didn’t feel “right” anymore, but I couldn’t put my finger on exactly what was wrong—another clue pointing to the deeper roots of burnout I was ignoring. I was so accustomed to working constant overtime that I never even considered it the cause of my exhaustion.
I worked with great people and enjoyed many aspects of my job. However, I was slowly but definitely running out of steam. It was the undefinable feeling that things were not right that finally led me to self-reflect, and I realized that my work and life were out of alignment. But I still wasn’t quite ready to acknowledge that a significant change was needed.
When I hit the tipping point of stopping the adoption process, that’s when the excuses, rationalizations, and procrastination came to an end! My reasons for holding onto my current work/life situation and denying that I was in burnout were gone. It was time to make changes, get healthy, and build a new life.
But how could I begin making the changes that were desperately needed?
I invite you to pause for a few moments and consider the effects of the long-term stress that you are experiencing. Perhaps you have concluded that you are in complete burnout or on your way there. If that’s true, then you are at a decision point just like I was.
Where do you go from here? You just want out, right? You may be thinking, “OK, I’m in burnout or very close to it! Please give me the magic pill to get my life, health, and energy back now!”
Unfortunately, burnout doesn’t happen overnight, and neither will burnout recovery. No one magic pill or method will work for everyone. Research shows that our stressors vary based on our individual genetics, personality types, and past experiences. Each person responds differently to stressors, leaning toward various helpful and unhelpful coping mechanisms. While there is a path to burnout recovery, it’s not the same for everyone.
You can recover faster and prevent future burnout if you create a personalized recovery plan—one that addresses not just the symptoms, but the roots of burnout themselves. However, to find the best path for recovery, we first need to take a step backward! As the wise Professor Dumbledore states in the Harry Potter epic: “When in doubt, I find retracing my steps to be a wise place to start.”
The term “burnout” originated in relation to work-related stress, but as we all know, our jobs are not the only source of distress! In fact, the work stress might not be the leading cause of burnout for everyone. The roots of burnout often extend far beyond the workplace.
What else is happening in our lives? Non-work hours offer us a chance to recharge and enjoy a full life. However, this is not always the case. Does your personal life contribute to your burnout? In many cases, the answer is yes! You may be a full-time caregiver as well as a full-time employee. Or perhaps you are dealing with grief or loss and still trying to meet intense workplace demands.
And what about our individual mindsets, beliefs, and cultural conditioning? Could these be contributing as well? The reKindle authors say, “Yes!” Brian, Masha, and I identified underlying mindsets and beliefs, both inside and outside of work, that significantly contributed to our burnout. Let’s examine all of the pieces of the burnout puzzle from both the work and non-work perspectives.
We each have our own environments and personal issues, even if we aren’t willing to admit them! For Brian, Masha, and me, Truly understanding the multiple causes and roots of burnout has helped us reKindle our lives and move away from being flamed out so we could erupt with new purpose and passion in life!
Identifying Your Stressors
You know you are stressed, but have you pinpointed the specific stressors filling your stress bucket? How can we identify our stressors? First, start noticing when you are feeling common physical stress reactions such as an increased heart rate, tightness in your chest, sudden pain or tightness in your stomach or esophagus, sweating, instant headaches, muscle tightness, a feeling like an electric jolt, or holding your breath. Secondly, identify common emotional or mental stress reactions such as feeling out of control, feeling overwhelmed, anger, immediate exhaustion, hopelessness, anxiety, inability to make a decision, or inability to focus.
Identifying Your Coping Methods
We define the term “coping methods” to describe how we deal with stress. As you have started noticing your stressors, you are likely also becoming aware of some of your coping methods. The current psychology literature has several different frameworks and terms for coping strategies. In our book, reKindle, we categorize coping methods at a high level as either “helpful” or “unhelpful.”
Identifying the Roots of Burnout
Spend some time reflecting and writing about your experience of burnout. Record as much detail as possible for each area of your life where you are experiencing long-term stress. Think about what beliefs/mindsets/perspectives you may have that influence what causes stress for you.
Write down how you are currently coping and what helps/doesn’t help when coping with that stressor. Keep writing until you feel like you have captured the essence of your burnout story. This may not happen in one session. You may find it helpful to keep a journal where you record your observations frequently. Alternatively, you could follow Brian and my approach: take a few days off work, book a peaceful environment, and dedicate that time to brainstorming and journaling. Either approach may work well—it’s really a matter of what you can do and what fits your schedule.
Now, you are ready to sweep away the ashes of burnout and reKindle with FIRE! There is life after burnout, filled with joy, passion, and purpose. Our book, reKindle introduces the F.I.R.E. framework, a systematic approach that shepherds individuals from feeling Flamed Out to Investigating the root causes, then reKindling mind, body, and emotions, culminating in an Eruption into a renewed life of purpose and joy. Find it everywhere books are sold.
