I never purchase the sensational magazines in the grocery checkout lane. But I do sometimes glance at the headlines. Recently I saw yet another famous celebrity couple announcing their split with the title – ‘Our Careers kept us apart’. Give me a break! Do they have to do one more movie to make the mortgage payment? One more cover photo to purchase yet another Ferrari? No, this is just an extreme example of Misplaced Priorities! Here’s a quote from the article: “Citing the difficulties inherent in divergent careers which constantly keep them apart, they concluded that an amicable separation seemed best for both of them at this time.” Yeah, explain that to the 8 and 6-year-old children. “Kids, mommy and daddy think having a great career is more important than being a family.”
With all the options today, it is critical to define your own priorities. If you simply respond to circumstances, any obstacle will send you in a new direction. Circumstances should not determine our choices. Well thought out priorities can guide us through the inevitable changes that will come our way. Careers are tools for successful lives, but nothing more than one piece of a successful life. Without success in finances, family, socially, physically, spiritually and in personal development, career success will be empty and meaningless.
This is a week where we all take a fresh look at our most intimate relationships because of Valentine’s Day.
Here are some things Joanne and I have practiced to not only maintain but thrive in our long-term marriage:
- Treat each other with respect
- Never raise our voices in anger
- Reserve Friday nights for Date Night
- Do small things just out of consideration
- At least two daily hugs
- Lots of back rubs
- Once a year cruise
- Spend time Sunday morning sharing what we’re reading
I love my career as an author and coach. But if I had to choose between my current career and Joanne, I would choose her in a nanosecond. I could find plenty of new ways to make an income.
Tell us what you’re doing to enhance your marriage relationships. And just for adding your best advice here’s a link to The Rudder of the Day – with some more tips for starting your day off right.
Dan, great post about what is really important in life. I don’t work at home right now, so I have a post it note on my desk that I see first thing every day. It says, “What have you done to win Tam’s heart today?.” It reminds me to schedule date nights and be grateful when she calls me during the day. My career provides a way to enhance our life instead of being the focus of my selfish existence.
Ken – wow I love that idea. A constant reminder to win her heart instead of just taking for granted that you have. I tell people that the interview for their job didn’t end when they got the position. They are interviewing every morning when they show up where the company will once again decide if they are providing adequate value. We should see our marriages in the same way. Thanks for sharing.
Excellent words! I am VERY thankful my wife is able to be a stay at home mom, which is itself a full time job. She works WAY harder than I do. 🙂 Not having careers as our primary focus is truly amazing. God and family are top priority.
Caleb – indeed. Career is not the most important – even if we are doing something really cool like making healthy energy bars to make the world a better place!!
Great post Dan. So true of my life as well. I love to write and speak but if my wife wanted me to quit I would. On the other hand she just told me that if I went and got a regular j-o-b I would be like a caged lion. We are suppose to be for each other. It is amazing to me how many people forget that the life they are building was for there family in the first place. Blessings to you Dan.
Dan,
THANK YOU! My wife and I had a lengthy discussion last night surrounding this very thing. I’m ashamed that we had not hashed out our family priorities before yesterday. We have the foundations of a great family in place now. In all transparency, I can’t belive the amount of freedom and relief that I feel today. Love it.
Tony – that’s awesome. If things are not as we wish today, we can draw a line in the sand and decide what tomorrow will look like. Congrats on taking that step on this very important area.
Excellent post Dan and I wholeheartedly agree – we were created for relationships and making our spouses and families a priority is something all too many seem to be ignoring today. Sure we all need money to live but like you if someone offered me a million dollars today but I had to give up my husband or children well, the decision is a no-brainer. Everything I do is to bring glory to God and bless my family and other people. They are my inspiration. Happy Valentines Day to you and Joanne.
Ann,
Yeah it’s sad to watch how “famous” and not so famous people so easily sabotage their relationships to pursue more money. If only they could seem themselves 20 years down the road – as alone and rich.
Thanks for the post Dan! Right on! To enhance my marriage I always tell my wife “Thank You” because she deserves it for sure!!! I want her to always know that I am so thankful for who she is and for what she does for me and our family. I also try to do things for her often that I know she really likes. Sometimes its as simple as doing the dishes or buying her a spa package. Lots of little gifts go along way….many times they are notes left under the door that she will read when she awakes. These “small” things really make her feel special.
Johnny,
Don’t ever stop telling her. Keep making those deposits in your emotional bank account. That is wealth like no dollars can ever match.
Thanks Dan!!! Great advice that I don’t take lightly! I will definitely do that!!! 🙂