As we are headed into Mother’s Day I was reminiscing about my own mother. At 88, her death was sudden, but not unexpected. She and Dad were sitting quietly together on Friday evening after a day of activities together. They were married for 62 years. For most of those years, Dad was the pastor of the little Mennonite church in Johnsville, Ohio.
Mom never had a job title outside our home. VP, CFO, and CEO were not attractive to her. Her formal education ended with the 8th grade. But her life touched thousands. At her funeral we displayed a few selected quilts, “quiet books”, photos of cakes and other examples of her special ways of giving to her family, friends and community. On the floral spray we had ribbons celebrating her most memorable titles – “wife, mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother.” My son, her oldest grandchild, gave the eulogy. He talked freely about her special attributes, her sense of humor and her unique ways of teaching and shaping our lives. Six grandchildren shared the honor of being her pallbearers.
At times like those we are all reminded of the importance of re-assessing what is important.
Personal tragedy or times of loss force us to look more closely at what our lives are really accomplishing. Yes, our jobs and positions are important. But they are probably not what we will be remembered for. Rather, those acts of kindness, times spent with our spouses, children, parents, and friends, are what will be recalled when we are gone. Stephen Covey, in “Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” says we all want “to live, to love, to learn, and to leave a legacy.”
What are you doing to leave a legacy?
How is your life making a difference in the world? As important as our careers are, keep in mind that our work is simply one tool for a successful life. Don’t ignore building “success” in your family, socially, physically, spiritually and in personal development as well.
Clara Rosa Miller, with no degrees, no titles, and no bestowed credentials, was one of the most “successful” and classy women I have ever known. Today, I have a beautiful little granddaughter named Clara in her honor. This Clara also loves baking. She is beginning to build her own legacy by providing her treats to attendees at the Sanctuary live events. I will celebrate Mother’s Day knowing my Mom’s wonderful legacy will move down through generations forever.
But what about after the kids are grown?
My wife Joanne has been an amazing wife and mom to our kids and grandkids. But when our youngest went off to college Joanne experienced the empty nest syndrome. She felt like she had been fired from the one job she loved most. It was at that time she discovered the art and writing that had been waiting to be released. Five children books, two grown-up books and multiple art shows later she is being recognized for those skills and this new season of joy in her life.
Being a Mother is an ongoing journey, with plenty of opportunities for personal discovery and fulfillment along the way. Do you know a Mom who needs a gentle nudge to find her unique voice?
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Funny enough, this exact topic was something I discussed with that brother who gave the eulogy at Grandma’s funeral. Leaving a legacy is so, so much more than a pile of money. Our family is rich with the legacy of love and openness. What I have always seen as a legacy I want to pass on was something I felt strongly from my incredible grandmother as well as her amazing son and daughter-in-law: you and Mom.
What I experienced was love and acceptance. A willingness to listen and hear me out. And, above all, meeting me where I was and always validating my feelings as my own, no matter how big or small they appeared. This is a legacy I have worked hard to carry down to my own children, and it’s one I hope remains a legacy for generations and generations to come. Great post – love you Dad!
So beautifully said, Ashley! Just beautiful.
Thank you so much Ashley! I am truly a blessed man. When I look at this picture the wonderful memories just overwhelm me – and so much is unfolding even now. You are an amazing Mama as well – when I see how you love and teach those three little girls I’m confident of the legacy you’re creating every day.
What a beautiful family you have Dan and Joanne! This pic and post warms my heart!!
Thanks Geri – that picture captures all the segments of the little song – “Jesus loves the little children” I think we’ve got that covered.
What a beautiful post, and an equally beautiful response by your daughter, Ashley. The gift of a mother is absolutely priceless. She loves us, guides us and is that supportive “rock” in so many of our lives. This Mother’s Day, I am beyond grateful for the gift of life, love, health and kindness that my Mom taught me. I stand on the shoulders of giants. And for me, she is the greatest one of those I know.
Jevonnah – ah thanks. I know how you love and adore your Mother. My Mom was exactly as I’ve described her here. A precious lady!
Just discussing the empty nest thing with several of my friends…..I’ll still have a couple at home for about 6 years….. making plans now so that I can transition and be ready for that next stage…. Clara was my grandmother’s name….a very special person to me…