Looking back can keep you trapped in defeat – looking forward will release your success
When I was 10 years old, one of my best friends was Bob Queen. One afternoon while exploring the back acreage of our neighboring farms, a snake bit Bob. Seeing the snake slither off, my immediate response was to run after the snake, track him down and repay the scoundrel for what he had done to my friend. Bob, however, being a much wiser hunter and outdoorsman, quickly pulled out his knife, lanced the bite, sucked the blood out and spit out the poison. The focus for him was on his own well being, not on repaying the snake.
I frequently see people chasing the snake in their own lives. The company folds or you just simply get laid off. The immediate reaction may include anger, resentment, bitterness, and backstabbing. These lead to discouragement, frustration, guilt and depression. Be aware that all of these reactions and feelings focus on the past. Turning around and looking to the future opens up confidence, boldness, and enthusiasm. These often lead to an increased sense of accomplishment, personal control, fulfillment and even money.
If Bob and I had chased that snake, the poison would have been given opportunity to plunge through his veins, draining his energy and perhaps leading to his death. What are you doing in your life? Are you chasing a snake in the past or pursuing a dream in the future? Choose carefully; your life may be at stake.
Chasing the Snake
- Filing discrimination suit
- Carrying a picket sign in front of the old company
- Focusing on unemployment qualification
- Having gripe sessions with others who were let go
Eliminating the Poison
- Contacting 30-40 companies about your new opportunities
- Increasing your volunteer time
- Spending 2 hours daily reading or listening to positive, inspirational material
- Working out, eating right, smiling more and feeling great
- Planning for the business you’ve always dreamed of
Are you eliminating all poison from your life, or are you still chasing the snake?
Excellent point.. Move on to your greater purpose and calling. Do not get stuck in the past or become vengeful for this is such a waste of time talent and energy..
God has said, “Vengeance is Mine! I will repay!!” So, leave the past with God; He’ll punish those who have wronged you. If someone apologizes; forgive them.
If you chase the snake and absorb the poison you become the kind of person that no one wants to be around. You chase away opportunities.
Excellent point, Dan! I’ve learned a lot about that in the past 6 months. In my blog post from last week (thank you for the feature, by the way — I’m honored), I mentioned the “journey” our family has been on. That experience has led me to do a lot of work on myself. I’m amazed at how much the 12 Step process has to offer ALL of us, and the principles there are consistent with the positive habits you espouse. I’ve also gone back to re-study Dr. Phil’s “Life Strategies,” and the same principles are repeated. The message is consistent: while you may not have created an unpleasant situation (but be willing to face it if you DID), you’re still responsible for what you do about it. So face the reality, figure out what you CAN and CANNOT control, quit focusing on what you CAN’T, then get to work on what you CAN control to change your situation. When you remove the blame and resentment from a situation and realize you have the power to change it, you gain a new sense of peace and freedom. Thank you for continuing to teach us all, Dan!
Dan you are a blessing!
Excellent!
I was recently wrongfully terminated after being back stabbed by some people who should have been brothers and sisters. That really hurt. I plotted all kinds of revenge and didn’t even go to Church for 3 months because I couldn’t believe Christians would go after their own like that. I started letting go and “Eliminating the Poison” and things have been turning around quickly. New and better job, that probably wasn’t possible until I let go of the anger and resentment. I am glad I have found a way to forgive, it gets rid of poison.
Dan,
GREAT post!!! I had a very close relative who filed an age discrimination suit that he fought for years. It was amazing how much those years ate away at him as he was FULL of bitterness and anger. When he did settle, it was almost a let down – rather than being happy about it, he went on to attack more bitterness in his life and he went on to be an incredibly unhappy person who was very difficult to work (and live) with. He has been retired since his late 50’s – all the things he talked about doing “when he retired” never came true as he is too busy being bitter at the world. Kind of wild to see how poison really does attack poison.
Thanks for posting and thanks for posting!
Jen
Jen – oh so true. That kind of seeking revenge eats into a person’s entire life. So sad!
Great post Dan. I’ve been guilty of wanting revenge! You’re right though, we have to focus our efforts on what will help us move forward.
My company once again registered record profits. That same week, they cut all of our pay by 25% (except managers – they got a title promotion and a raise). Many co-workers are chasing the snake. Me? I have been hitting the gym to let out aggression, immersing myself in positive reading, and chasing my dream. Unlike my co-workers, my dream isn’t dependent on the snake. I will admit that this path has not been easy. However, with blogs like yours, I am more positive than I have been in the past when facing similar circumstances.
Bryan – ouch. Stay focused on where YOU are going – not the company currently providing a paycheck. A year from now you’ll be on a different path and not held captive because all you did was complain and hang on.
… has nobody realized that incising the wound to suck out poison is exactly what you should NOT do for a snake bite? That’s outmoded “wisdom” and has been shown not only not to help, but it often causes further problems, such as necrosis of the flesh surrounding the bite.
Look, I’m all for not living in the past, but you should at least get the facts straight before you use an anecdote as your primary, money-making analogy.
(See, for example, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snakebite, which is fairly well referenced)
It’s a metaphor. I fear you missed the point by focusing on the snake.
You can rest assured that I didn’t miss the point, but it appears you’ve missed mine. And that is: “Why should people listen to your advice about their lives when you don’t pay attention to the details of your own stories?”
Again, in principle, I agree with you that living in the past is, at best, not helpful, and at worst, harmful. My point was that you should come up with better analogies if you want to convince people that you’re someone whose opinion they should care about. On second thought, though, considering the religious nature of your advice (and followers), it seems that rational integrity is not a huge priority.
My information is weird, illogical, irrational, spiritual, touchy-feely and life-giving. I suggest you look elsewhere for what you need. Oh and it’s raining cats and dogs here today.
Translation: your information, even if sometimes serendipitously correct, is “obtained” from invalid sources and should thus be treated with suspicion and careful scrutiny.
Oh, and “raining cats and dogs” is an idiom, not an anecdotal analogy, so try again.
@C2 every comment of yours here could have been “not posted” YOure just stirring the pot. As my dad used to tell my sister, ‘you talk just to hear your head rattle.’
Nothing you said was impressive or building up and encouraging of others.