Recently I watched the 2007 movie Lions for Lambs. In this movie a brilliant but apathetic student asks his professor (Robert Redford), “Is there any difference in trying but failing, and simply failing to try – if you end up in the same place anyway?” He was attempting to justify taking the safe route; never really taking a stand or trying anything big.
What do you think? Do you cringe at trying something big because of the possibility of failure? What if you tried
for the promotion but failed to get it, started a business but lost your investment, or tried a MLM system but got nothing other than a garage full of vitamins – are you somehow better off? Or would your life have been better if you had avoided the hassle and the disappointment altogether?
Yes, I’m hearing from people every day who tried and failed. One gentleman lost $11 million in a family gas and oil business. Another lost $3.2 million inherited from his grandmother in a failed retail clothing business. A close friend lost $24 million in a failed real estate development. Research shows that if you are under thirty years old, there is 90% chance you will be fired sometime in the next twenty years. Bernie Marcus was fired from a job as manager of theHandyDanImprovementCenter, then went on to start Home Depot. In 1988 I experienced a horrible “failure” in business – having to borrow a car to drive to start generating income again. Should I have avoided the pain and anguish by taking a safer route, or was that experience the necessary catalyst for learning the principles that launched the success I enjoy today?
My theory is that you will be a brighter, better person for trying something big – even if you “fail.”
I can’t find the quotation I know I’ve heard so I’ll improvise, but essentially it’s this:
“If failure is not a possibility then winning is not so sweet.” Think about it: when you play a football game, the possibility of losing is what makes winning so stinking rewarding. Isn’t that how it is with just about everything? I hear from people every day who have nice big guaranteed salaries – and they’re bored out of their minds. It’s the people who strike out into uncharted waters who get the thrill of victory.
I’m totally confident of this: If you’re not trying something right now where you have a strong possibility of failure, you’re life is boring. I want to constantly be trying new things where I have a 50-50 chance of succeeding. All the new directions in my business this year had the possibility of not working; Coaching Mastery Program, Innovate Event, 48 Days Mastermind, The Ultimate Advantage Cruise, the new book I’m writing. All the major things I’m doing this year had the potential to not work – and the jury is still out on some.
What has your life experience taught you about trying big things? Have you learned to keep a low profile to avoid failure? Or have you found that “failure” leads to bigger successes?
No More Dreaded Mondays tells the story of my failures and provides principles for coming back to success.
As someone that has spent the last 14 months “failing” at my business attempts, I can say that it’s been worth it. Discouraging, yes, but also exciting. All of this failure will make for a better story when I finally have some level of success! Now, back to “work”…
Dan, I am right there with you, more so than ever before. I’d rather fail a thousand times than go back to the safe and meaningless work I used to do. I’d rather take all the risks, rip my heart into shreds in the process of trying, but know the answer of “What If I just give it my all” in the end … because deep down, I just don’t see how I can fail when I am following my heart, with a dose of confidence and smarts. 🙂 Failure isn’t stopping me and I see how it sure hasn’t stopped you, lucky for all of us, because now we enjoy your wisdom……
While I sincerly hope (PRAY) not to “fail” as big as some of those numbers you mentioned (okay, ANY of them), if you learn from it; get back up; and move forward… it’s not failure.
If you don’t try at all, you’ll never know where you could have been or what you could have done.
If failure is an event and not person, then I hosted a premiere event! I failed for nearly 10 years, with money, relationships, and even my health, but here is the thing. I failed at mediocre attempts. I played it safe and still lost. I decided at the very least, I was going to fail at something I wanted this time around.
An incredibly wise man I know said this:
“Pushing to failure is the only way to discover what you’re capable of.” — Kevin Miller
He has lived it. As have you, Dan.
Plenty of failure and pain and regret. And yet. Fruit of what he is capable of — a home built from his dreams & sweat & tears & blood & failure & sacrifice — a family growing thru love & peace & failure & strength & Christ-dependent-independence — a business finally thriving out of visions & heartache & hopes & failures.
A chip off the ol’ block, eh?
Teri – yep, Kevin probably heard me tell the Robert Schuller stories a hundred times. I high jumper doesn’t know how good he/she can be until he trips the bar.
Until recently I thought if I ever did something and failed then I was a … failure. Nothing learned. Nothing gained. Just a big black splotch on my eternal score card shouting, “LOOK AT THIS FAILURE! IDIOT!”
So I did nothing I wasn’t 100% I could win at. And that lead to an ok life, b/c I can win at a lot of things. More I’d say than the average person.
But “OK” is not why I was put on this earth. “OK” is not what my God designed me for. Settling for “OK” is not what made me attractive to my wife (not sure what did that exactly, but I know it wasn’t “OK”).
It wasn’t until I had health problems and realized there was VERY LITTLE I liked in ANY part of my life that I changed.
Now, I’m pursuing self employment. I’m pushing myself to the point I know I’m going to have failures. I don’t want them, but I’m sure statistically speaking they are now heading my way.
And as Teri said below, how will I know what I’m capable unless I push myself to failure (well Teri said it for Kevin… but you get my point).
I have already be labeled, and very proudly I might add, as a “quitter” for quitting my day job. Now I am pushing to earn the title of “failure”, too!
Great post.
~Ivan
Ivan – Coach Rick Patino says failure is the fertilizer required for success. It’s great that you’re viewing failure in a different light.
Dan, your encouraging posts never fail to lift my spirits. Thank you so very much.
Love it Dan.
After being let go from a bookstore(where I was first introduced to your book!), I started a computer repair business. My heart was not in it and I did not succeed in the venture. However, from that, I was able to obtain the job I currently have in the IT department of a company I work for. The business was a failure, but it led me to brighter pastures, for now.
Dan, I know many people who have dreams but do nothing that is not ‘safe.’ I have always thought it was a sign of weakness not to ‘put yourself out there’ and take chances – though I tried not to put anyone down for not doing their best. Lately, I have been wondering if I am guilty of only trying safe things too.
All I can add to the conversation is, ‘pray that I use the courage God gave me to fulfill His purpose for my life. In every aspect; spiritually, physically, emotionally, etc.’
That’s a great motivator. None of us want to stand before God and have him say we lived our life too small.
I do fear failure – but my fear of not trying is probably worse. I have a dream of owning my own business and working towards it everyday. I’m even working on getting a job related to my passion to help fund that dream of owning my own business.
However, I there was a time where I was afraid of failure. I was so afraid that I froze and did nothing. I’m still trying to get over it right now. However, each day that I blog, pursue a bite size a piece of my dream, and save to fund my goals helps me get over that fear of failure. I face me fear of failure from dealing with it head on.
In searching for middle ground on this matter, I would like to say that before setting out with the possibility of failure, always calculate risk. I don’t want to be a prude or sound discouraging, but I see numerous small business failures where owners forgot the basic premise that no matter how you look at it, or how much you love what you are doing, 2 + 2 = 4.
Lonnie – yeah I know I’m one to just jump out there and be confident a parachute will appear while I’m in midair. And oh – I also tend to believe that many times 2+2=5.
yes, I believe this too!
As long as the failure isn’t fatal (e.g. you find out too late you weren’t cut out to be a professional motorcycle racer), failure can teach a person a lot about him or herself and about the field in which they made an attempt. Alan Greenspan was a failure as a jazz musician, but learned that he had a capacity for understanding money when he managed the meager funds of his fellow bandmates. There are any number of instances when failure in one arena has led to success in an area that was completely different.
Jean – thanks for sharing. I didn’t know that about Alan Greenspan. But it’s certainly true that we typically discover our greatest talents when we’re busy doing SOMETHING.
Ideas are not wisdom. Ideas are what we have BEFORE we test them in the fires of real life. Failure is the feedback needed to refine our ideas. Although it is possible to have a great idea, it is rare. Actually, we have parts of somewhat-ok ideas, put them into play, and tweak them as we go along. If you aren’t in that process, you can’t get the final product.
Very well said! Ideas are worthless until tried in real life – and that may bring “failure” in one attempt.
Thank you Dan,
I have not read the book, but I am reminded of the title “Falling Forward.” As you and Dave Ramsey and Cliff Ravenscraft and others say, “What is the worst that can happen?” I am thinking of my future and I am starting to set goals. The two big ones are becoming debt free and working on a career. So right now I see this lesson on failure as putting myself in a place where I can step out of my current “comfort bubble,” which is not really that comfortable now. 🙂 Looking a bit down the road I see when I have “3-6 months of saving” I will be able to further have the ability to step out bigger. Just writing this reply is teaching me some things.
Thank you again Dan for all you do.
K, bye
Greetings Dan,
I have played it way too safe most of the time. My first thought after reading your article was, the pain associated with trying and failing is temporary and instructive while the pain associated with not taking risks touches all areas of our lives and is permanent. Thank you.
Exactly what I have been thinking.
Hello Dan,
Love this post. I so resonate with it. For years I worked in law firms where I did not enjoy the work nor the way the law was practiced. But it was not until I had the confidence to walk away from a life others wanted for me and into a life I was meant to live that I found true happiness, and the amazing journey that it is to be an entrepreneur. I walked away from a law firm where I was very close to becoming a partner because the thought of making partner at a a traditional firm did not nearly excite me as much as launching out on my own and doing things my own way. For years I had wanted to strike out on my own, but was terrified. What if I failed? What if I let my family down? But then something incredible happened. I realized one day that the thought of me continuing to go into work at the law firm I was at was causing more angst and stress than the thought of launching my own practice. It was at that point that I knew it was time. So I did it, and have no regrets.
Josh,
Congratulations on creating your own life rather than following the common expectations. The options are so wide open to find the path that fits us – if we have the guts to get off the main road. Thanks for your comments.
Very well said Josh. And, congratulations. I’ve “olayed it safe” in the family business for years doing something that did not challenge me and struggled to “accept” it. Only very recently did I come to the conclusion that staying isn’t “safe” and doing something counter to my personality and skills is unhealthy for both myself and the family organization. I was bullyied by other employees (not my fellow family members – they were great). But, I too had such angst and stress that I came to the realization that I could not continue anymore. I asked for a leave of absence. I was told that would not be possible. So, I had to absent myself – permanently.
Thanks for the comment, Maxine! Sounds like you and I have experienced some similar feelings. As scary as it is, it sure does feel good to live and work in a more authentic way. I can’t imagine the added difficulty of it being a family business. Best of luck to you!!
You are welcome, Josh. Best of luck to you too. Regarding working in a family business it is quite a bit like being at the kids table 24/7 365 days a year….AND like being in the public eye all the time but without the celebrity paycheck. LOL.
Ah well, the experience has not been wasted because I’ve become very strong emotionally.
Greetings Maxine,
Congratulations, that must have taken a great deal of courage and been difficult. Hope things blossom in your life.
Thanks Paul. I’m actually excited to be trying something new instead of showing up, being bored, and going through the motions.
Big risk leads to big rewards and once you get those rewards, life is never the same!
Great Post Dan. You are 100% guaranteed that you will not succeed if you don’t try, and you have a 50/50 chance of success if you do try. I will go for the 50/50 every time. What about you? Thanks for sharing.
Dan: I really appreciate this post. I’m reminded of that old story of Babe Ruth who, every time he struck out, he headed back to the dugout with a smile on his face. When asked about it, he said, “Every strike out brings me one step closer to a home run!”
My natural tendency is to get stuck in “analysis paralysis” even though I KNOW that the best way to “gather data” is from direct action and/or failing fast. Spend too much time analyzing and you are still stuck where you are.
I believe you always learn from your failures. The successes that come are so much better because you don’t make the same mistakes again. You can never unlock your full potential if you stay safe your entire life.
Reaching for the gold is where it’s at. Ahh, how I remember my first 26.2 mile marathon. I was new to the scene, had never run a marathon before, but was determined to cross the finish line. So there I was…with 25,000 other runners at the start line of the Los Angeles Marathon. At mile 19, the lactic acid that had built up in my body from running so long became to scream in pain and I felt like falling right then. But I knew I couldn’t. I had set a goal and was determined to reach my gold. Slow down? Yes. Quit? Never. That was 13 years ago. And I crossed that finish line with tears of gratitude in my eyes for God’s strength in helping me push past my pain. That first marathon and the pain I endured and the lessons I learned gave me the drive to run every year after that. March 9, 2014 marked my 13th 26.2 mile LA Marathon. Never give up. Your dreams are within reach. You have to believe that first and take small steps everyday toward your goal. The strangest secret…we really do become what we think about. Great article Dan! Thank you!
Jevonnah,
Wow – that’s major. Congratulations on breaking through that first time and then following up with consistent success. As you know well, success in one area of our lives sets us up for success in other areas. I didn’t know about your physical wins but I’ve had a glimpse of your wins in business.
*your 🙂