Here’s a note I received this week from someone who wants to be a coach.
”Dan –With the poverty of the USA my spirit doesn’t feel right charging the poor that need help for coaching them in the right direction. Out of the love in my heart for others and their burdens I cannot see putting a boundary up (money) for what I know can help them.”
Coaching is a helping service – and I sincerely hope whatever you are doing in work is a helping service. Coaching is not unique in being the only way to help others. So we could substitute anything you do in the following sentence:
”With the poverty of the USA my spirit doesn’t feel right charging the poor that need help”
- making their house payment
- getting groceries
- having dental work
- fixing a plumping problem
- repairing their car
- preparing their taxes
- getting legal help
- having competent daycare
- knowing how to get a job
- keeping their yard trimmed or
- having access to great books
So if I’m a plumber I really hate to charge people who are already struggling. If I’m the grocery store owner I really don’t want to have to charge the single mom for food to feed her children. If I own the tire store I feel bad having the elderly couple pay for the tires on their old car. To charge for any of these things we are “putting a boundary up for what I know can help them.”
And if I’m a coach I hate to charge for knowledge and encouragement that could help that person break the cycle of self-defeat and start on a new path to wholeness and spiritual vitality.
My Dad was a pastor who volunteered his time to pastor the little church in our town. I too have a heart for the downtrodden. But I’ve created a balance whereby I can give without resentment. I allow 10% of my time for humanitarian and ministry needs. That allows me to address those needs and still provide for my family. But I couldn’t spend 90% of my time helping the poor – I’d simply become one of them and deplete my ability to help. It’s impossible to give when your own cup is empty. A sincere desire to help and serve can kill the golden goose just as much as raw greed.
Please watch this video where I explain my thinking on how we can give best from a full cup.
Dan, I’ve known for several years how amazingly generous you and Ms. Joanne are, but have never seen you give this example before. EXCELLENT my friend! Keep up the great work/mission. 🙂
Archie – thanks so much for your input.
Wow, Dan! This is fantastic! I love your illustration of plumbing, groceries and dentistry. That helps put the question into perspective. I also appreciate you suggestion of 10 percent of time dedicated to ministry. I’m going to stick to that one. Thank you as always for sharing your wisdom. It means more than you could ever know.
Holly – thanks for your comments.
I remember when you did this illustration, Dan. It was powerful then, and it is powerful now. Love this line: “A sincere desire to help and serve can kill the golden goose just as much as raw greed.” We share out of our abundance, not lack. We need to have our own cup full to serve well. Thanks for sharing!
Jevonnah – when I did this for the Mastermind I just did it pretty spontaneously. But the response was so visceral that I decided to work on it and record it. It’s such an important principle. I want to keep sharing it with everyone. Thanks for your input.
This has been one of my biggest success choking issues for the longest time. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on it yet again. Some of us just need to hear it over and over and over, because we’ve been so indoctrinated that it’s hard to break free.
Sam – I know well how deeply the old models of “ministry” can go. And I’ve lived out multiple ways, but understanding serving from a full cup has magnified our ability to give over and over again. I’m going to send you an additional piece I just wrote this weekend regarding giving cars to people in need.
Thanks
Dan, A picture is worth a thousand words. This is a powerful illustration. I think Jim Rohn said that we have to take care of ourselves so we can take care of others. You’ve just shown us how that looks.
Debbie – thanks for your comments. I loved thinking this through and then creating a visual to help understand it.
GREAT message Dan!!!! Love and appreciate the illustration. Thank you for sharing!
Great video Dan. I so appreciate your illustration. Often people in the ministry or who have a faith based business feel that they cannot charge for their services. As a faith-based coach I know that the more paid clients I help the more I can give back. Thanks for sharing.
The article and illustration are very thought provoking. However, if you placed a saucer under each glass and continued pouring as with the center glass, the results would be the same. You would be overflowing into the saucer. It’s not about the size of the glass but whether you stop pouring or not, what you do with the resources you have been blessed with whether great or small, and the condition of your own heart in regards to the plight of others.
The bible clearly teaches that we can minister to others whether we are poor, wealthy or somewhere in between. It’s not about the amount of resources we have but what we do with those resources. Jesus clearly said that the widow who gave her last coin at the temple gave more than all the others there (Luke 21:3-5. In his parable of the talents, Jesus clearly taught that it wasn’t about how much you were given but what you did with what you were given. In 2 Corinthians 8 & 9 we clearly see an example of where Christians giving out of their poverty to help others and others out of their abundance to the likewise.
The issue is not the size of your glass, but the condition of your heart and what you do with the resources God has given to you. For example, Mother Teresa had very little but out of her love for God and those in need she was able to provide out of her poverty to help others. Yet, there are others who have great wealth that have done wonders in helping others out of their love for God and others. Then there are those who exist in between the two extremes that have done the same. At the same time, you have those that are poor, wealthy, and somewhere in between that do nothing for anyone. Their lives exist primarily for themselves. They simply take what they have and use for themselves whether it be money, time, energy, or any other resource at their disposal.
At the same time, we must be careful not to fill our lives up with so much stuff, activity, distractions, acquisition of things, work, and so-forth that we no longer have the time to help others. Many of us, me at times also, have allowed ourselves to spend most of our money on acquiring “nice” things that we don’t have enough at the end of the month that we can’t see how we can give to others or even to God. Then we end up wearing ourselves so thin in taking care of those things or in various activities or working so much that we just don’t have the energy to go out and help others, to do anything else. If we want to truly help others, then we need to learn how to be better stewards of the time, money, energy/health, and any other resource God has provided us.
One of the major things I see people do, and that I have been guilty at times, that keeps them from helping others is that they are so involved with everything, have acquired so much stuff that requires a lot of their time to take care of, and or they are just blowing and going all the time, that they don’t have the time or energy to help others. Even Jesus, with all the ministry that he was doing day-in and day-out, had to take time to relax (i.e. wedding, eating at people’s houses, & etc.) and especially, he made sure to get away from the crowds to take time and reenergize himself and reconnect with his Father. If he had to do that, how much more should we make sure to do the same?
So, whatever size glass represents your life, stick a saucer under it and revamp your life and mindset in a way that will allow you to better use the resources God has blessed you with so that as He keeps pouring into your life with more blessings, they overflow into the lives of others also. May God’s favor be upon you all!