This piece comes from a podcast I recorded a few years ago with my youngest daughter, Juliet, right before her first theatrical performance. We’re sharing it again now as she prepares for her fourth big show — because the lessons about self confidence still hold true.
Whether you’re facing stage fright … starting a business … applying for a promotion… or stepping into something brand new, the process of building self confidence looks surprisingly similar.
Here’s the backstory.
A friend invited Juliet to theater camp. We thought it was a casual activity.
It wasn’t.
This camp ends in a full musical production—with auditions.
At 10 years old, auditions would have stopped me in my tracks. But Juliet studied her songs, practiced with her best friend, and showed up ready. No drama. Just determination.
She was cast as Lavender, Matilda’s best friend, and watching her prepare was a masterclass in how confidence is built, not magically born.
She chose the topic for our episode that day: facing fear.
Here’s the framework we talked through—and it works at any age and in any circumstance.
Believe in Yourself
Self confidence can’t live entirely on borrowed belief.
Encouragement from others helps—but if it’s your only fuel source, your confidence will always feel fragile. Real confidence starts internally.
If Juliet depended on my thumbs-up to decide how she performed, that would be enormous pressure. And adults do this all the time—tying their self confidence to approval instead of internal belief.
During Juliet’s audition, she messed up a line.
She paused. Breathed. Tried again.
That’s what building self confidence looks like.
Not perfection. Recovery.
Confidence grows when you trust yourself to keep going, even after mistakes.
When we obsess over errors, we amplify them. When we move forward, others move forward too.
Confidence is momentum.
Educate Yourself
Fear thrives in ignorance.
Confidence grows in understanding.
Juliet used snakes as her example. Her sister Clara is a herpetologist, and thanks to Clara, our family has learned more about snakes than I ever imagined possible.
I used to be terrified.
(Note: never say never. We have five now.)
The fear wasn’t based on reality—it was based on what I didn’t understand. As I learned more, my emotional reaction changed.
The same principle applies to building self confidence in business, leadership, performance, and career moves.
When you educate yourself:
- uncertainty shrinks
- decisions become clearer
- fear loses power
Knowledge accelerates self confidence.
Assess the Goal
Not every fear needs to be conquered.
Some fears are signals. Others are invitations.
The question isn’t:
“Am I scared?”
The better question is:
“Is the result worth stretching for?”
There was a time I was determined to pursue scuba diving because my family loved it. I thought building self confidence meant I had to push myself into everything that scared me.
But when I really assessed the end goal, I realized something honest:
The destination didn’t excite me.
It wasn’t fear holding me back—it was misalignment.
I pictured the end result: expensive equipment, deep ocean water, and an experience I respected but didn’t actually desire. I was trying to prove something instead of pursuing something.
That realization changed how I think about self confidence.
Self confidence isn’t about forcing yourself into every uncomfortable situation. It’s about stretching toward goals that matter to you. When the outcome energizes you, confidence becomes easier to build because the growth feels meaningful.
Growth should feel challenging—not performative.
When your goal aligns with who you are, self confidence grows faster and feels more sustainable.
Take Action—or Trust Your Gut
This is where self confidence becomes practical.
Sometimes your gut says:
👉 Don’t force this.
Other times it says:
👉 You’ll regret not trying.
Listening is part of confidence.
If your future self will be proud you acted, take the step. Visualize the outcome. Let that picture pull you forward.
Self confidence grows through movement, not overthinking.
Action is a confidence multiplier.
Put a Date on It
Dreams stay abstract until they hit the calendar.
“One day” is where confidence goes to stall.
If you want to build real self confidence, create commitment:
- schedule the audition
- submit the application
- launch the website
- sign up for the class
Then work backward from the date.
Action creates clarity.
Clarity creates confidence.
Confidence creates momentum.
The Truth About Self Confidence
Watching Juliet prepare reminded me of something simple:
Self confidence is not the absence of fear.
It’s the decision to move forward with fear in the room.
Every confident adult you admire once stood at the edge of something scary and stepped anyway.
Confidence isn’t personality.
It’s a skill.
And skills can be developed intentionally.
Ready to Develop Your Self Confidence?
If fear has been holding you back—whether it’s a stage, a business idea, a career move, or a personal leap—you don’t have to figure this out alone.
I’ve put a guided audio training to help you build your self confidence:
👉 How To Develop Your Self Confidence
This training walks you step-by-step through the mindset shifts, tools, and exercises that turn hesitation into momentum. And for a limited time, you can get this audio training for only $4.80.
Because confidence isn’t something you wait to feel.
It’s something you practice into existence.
Grab the audio training and start building the self confidence that carries you into your next chapter.
Listen to the podcast where Juliet shared her 5 tips to overcome fear and build self confidence.
Dan Miller’s Podcast: Increase Your Confidence Immediately By Doing This One Thing
