I believe in driving nice cars. But not as a pill for being depressed. Sure, buy any car you want as long as it’s not more than one month’s income. Stick around – I’ll explain how to do that.
Episode #854 October 28, 2022
Hi this is Dan Miller – and yes you’re listening to the 48 Days Radio show – where each week we take 48 minutes to dive into real life questions about finding your passion, deciding what kind of life you want to live – and then finding or creating work that allows you to show up every day, excited to be able to do something that is meaningful, fulfilling – and profitable. This is where normal, indecision and ambiguity come to die. Welcome to the 48 Days Radio Show.
Questions:
How can I make sure I don’t fizzle on my goals for 2023?
Christine says, “I’m in the midst of deciding on my goals for 2023. I’ve been able to identify business goals, goals for my health, spiritual life and personal goals. But I’m trying to implement a way to ensure that I do not fizzle out after a few months into 2023.” I do have a couple of quick pointers on not only setting goals but reaching them in my Goal Setting Workbook. You can download it at 48days.com/goals. The real message I want you to hear here is that reaching your goals is more about mindset than it is about creating a checklist of things to do or not do. When setting goals, if you just create a checklist of things you think you ought to do, it’s going to be tough to stick with it. You may lose your motivation. We know a lot of people give up on their goals by about February 1 because they didn’t really decide. Deciding is a pretty powerful word. If you decide that you’re going to go into a new season of your life — that you’re going to accomplish things you’ve not accomplished before that mindset will drive you. When setting goals, avoid making just a to-do list when you’re setting goals.Can I survive as a songwriter?
“Dan. music has been a lifelong passion of mine, especially in the form of songwriting. For the past several months, I’ve been at a crossroads that seems trying to decide whether or not it’s worth pursuing this passion of mine further. As I’ve gotten older (23) I tried to think more realistically in regard to the future and the income level it takes to sustain a family. “However, the love and fulfillment I get from writing songs continue. Would it be worth getting a higher education to increase my skill level in this field? What are the programs that are available to learn more on the subject? Where can I go from here?” If you’re not an established songwriter, with a lot of connections in the music industry, you’re probably just going to be a gig writer or you put your music out there and hope it gets enough attention to start generating some income or the interest of somebody big. The reality is, you’re unlikely to have the job title of songwriter But people do get jobs as a music producer, a recording engineer, maybe a composer or lyricist, music director, music arranger I would never try to force that as being your only source of income. But don’t give up on it. By all means, keep doing it. Just don’t force it to be the source of your income. So do something where you know you’re good, something where you have a reasonable sense of enjoyment of doing it as your primary source of income, and then have fun writing songsI have a daughter who is in college but uncertain about her direction. What should I do?
You’re right to be concerned. If your daughter is in a community college or state college, or the tuition is reasonable, and you’ve set aside resources for that, or she’s earning her way through, and she wants to do that, then it’s just part of the maturing learning process. If she’s in some ivy league school, or she’s at Vanderbilt or Yale or Cambridge or someplace like that, where it’s costing a lot of money and the family is borrowing money, I would stop that in a heartbeat, I would stop it today, get her out, let her get some experience in other ways. She can apprentice at a place for six months. She can follow somebody around who’s in a particular industry for two weeks. Let her get some life experience where she gets more clarity about what she wants to do. As a coach, I often work with the 45-year-old who decided that they didn’t want to keep pursuing what they then had as a professional degree — physicians, attorneys, dentists, engineers, accountants, and pastors. They have proven their ability academically to keep going to school, but they didn’t stop to take a breath and figure out if this is something they really want to do. Then at 45 they’re saying, “I don’t want to do that anymore.” You don’t want your daughter to be one of those. So there’s no rush. If she’s 20 years old, she can spend a year getting some other experiences that will help with that clarity and then she can come back with more of a committed mindset to actually develop in a particular area, if needed. I got another question from Ricky that says, “I see a lot of high school students meandering their way into college, without any sort of direction, or possibly have too many directions. When I’ve posed the question to them about what it is they’re passionate about, I get blank stares as though they’re too young to know. Is this the case? Is there a better set of questions to ask teenagers to help them decide on or figure out a possible vocation? “My own daughter is struggling to decide between engineering, art, or theater. As an ex-engineer, turned chiropractor, these choices are on the opposite ends of the spectrum.” Rick, I would encourage you to give these kids some time to figure it out. It’s tough to make those decisions when you’re a teenager. I worked with a guy one time who was working at a bank. He came to me, and he had taken a position at the bank, knowing that’s not what he wanted to do. But he had a friend who offered him a job there. He thought he would work there six months until he really figures things out. And then all of a sudden, he looked up and 14 years had passed. That’s the way that oftentimes people get trapped in a particular career direction. I had another guy who was also about 45 years old who told me, “I’m tired of living my life based on the decisions that were made by an 18-year-old.” That’d be himself. Let’s be patient. These days, especially we’re seeing people having two or three totally different careers as they experiment to try to figure this out. And it doesn’t mean you’re starting over. You can change directions when you’re 35 years old or 55. It doesn’t mean you’re starting over. You’re not the same person you were when you were 18 years old. You have more maturity and more credibility. Your decisions are very, very different and much more informed than they were back then. So be comfortable with that. Let’s give these kids some leeway.I’ve climbed the ladder of success in my current industry, but think the ladder may be leaning on the wrong wall.
Mark says “I’ve climbed the ladder of success in my current industry but I think the ladder may be leaning on the wrong wall. I wrote out my ideal day, and it looks nothing like what I’m doing now. It’s almost the complete opposite. Is that common? Is it just a reaction to my current situation or could I really be that far off course?” A lot of doctors are deciding that this is not what I signed up for when I went to medical school, all the bureaucracy and regulations. A lot of teachers are saying kind of the same thing. I really wanted to encourage kids, help them make good decisions, and help them learn. I love that. But this is not what I wanted. You have to be a policeman to be a teacher these days. So if you have climbed the ladder only to learn that the ladder is leaning against the wrong wall that’s fine. Be grateful for the insight that you have now if, in fact, that’s true, and your ideal day looks nothing like what you’re doing now. I encourage you to take 48 days to go through the process, not negating what you’ve done currently, but building on that. It doesn’t mean you’re starting from the same baseline. You have a different baseline. The next curve is going to go up with a much higher starting position.I need a preface for my book from someone in my industry.
Rita says, “I’ve heard you say you’ve written book review requests before in your podcast. I’d love to have a preface written for the front of my book from someone in my industry. It’s on parenting, I have a few ideas in mind about who that would be. What’s the best way to approach them? If not a preface, then maybe a review. Let’s look at some terms here. People do get these confused. There are four elements in a book. One is a foreward. A foreward is just that. It’s usually written by somebody else. You’ll see it on the front cover. In a lot of my books, I have a foreward by Dave Ramsey. It’s designed to draw readers into the book’s pages, and usually has clarification about that person’s connection to the author. A preface is the author’s introduction to the book. You don’t ask somebody else for a preface. Then an introduction also written by the author. And then endorsements. Endorsements are usually those really short little blurbs that you see — your testimonials, and you can ask a variety of people to do those. If you do ask somebody for a foreword or an endorsement, there ought to be some kind of personal connection or at least the content that you’re writing about is something they can really speak into.I want to switch to selling real estate. I don’t know how to sell – do you think I can learn?
Absolutely. You can do that. You can learn to do that. You don’t have to be born as a natural salesperson. We hear that term. You can expose yourself to the best information out there and in two weeks’ time you can elevate yourself to the beginning of being a great salesperson. Here are some resources for you:- The Psychology of Selling by Brian Tracy
- Secrets of Closing the Sale by Zig Ziglar
- Little Red Book of Selling by Jeffrey Gitomer
- The Millionaire Real Estate Agent by Gary Keller
I was feeling depressed the other day about how life wasn’t working very well right now and I decided to go do something to change my mental state. So I called up a Tesla dealership and test-drove one of their vehicles. I was left smiling for two days!
I have zero desire to own a car in that expense category but I love the idea of driving it. So you might balance what you’re talking about with a test drive of something once in a while, I wouldn’t encourage doing that a lot. Obviously, if you test drive, the dealer has the impression that you are a real candidate for it. My formula has always been to drive any car you want, as long as it’s not more than one month of your income. Don’t let yourself get sucked into a fancy car with big payments. Just because you were depressed, you’re going to be more depressed when you wake up the next morning, and realize what you committed to. Never use a car as just a pill for your emotional state at the current time.Quotation:
[click_to_tweet tweet=”“I didn’t climb the mountain to conquer the mountain. I did it to conquer myself.” Sir Edmund Hillary @48daysteam” quote=”“I didn’t climb the mountain to conquer the mountain. I did it to conquer myself.” Sir Edmund Hillary”]
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Resource:
Goals Worksheet – 48days.com/goals Get started making something new happen in the new year!
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