Patrice wants to know why she has been unable to develop her passion and the only jobs available are ones that she hates.
Here’s part of her lengthy letter:
“After everything I’ve been through I’m afraid that somehow, God’s will for me is actually not to pursue the sole vocational passion He appears to have put in my heart, but to do this office work that feels like I’m swallowing poison every day. Maybe I’m projecting my family’s patterns onto God – child abuse survivors do that, probably even more so than those with healthier backgrounds – but I’m afraid that, counterintuitive though it is, God has given me a passion that is completely mismatched with the opportunities in my life. Do you think this is possible? That for some reason the God I’ve always known as a loving one wants me to suffer through jobs I hate, and that I hate myself for doing, all my life?”
Dear Patrice – No, I do not think that “God has given you a passion that is completely mismatched with the opportunities in your life.” That would be a vicious God – not a loving one. The Bible tells us to “delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.” (Psalm 37:4) Handing your life over to God does not mean walking away from your desires and passions – rather, it means finding authentic ways to make those God-given passions come alive.
Yes, I do think we all tend to create the God we see emerge from the patterns of our own family – at least as a starting point. Please believe that God has gifted you and given you a blank piece of paper on which to draw the life you want. He is not mean and capricious as you suspect. Just take responsibility for your success and know that the door is as open to you as to anyone in the world. God is not micromanaging the little details in your life to make you miserable. He wants you to thrive and prosper – and to do work that is fulfilling and meaningful.
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