I need to make money and find a wife

If you’re selling cars, preaching the gospel, or finding a spouse – the process is the same.  That is, if you want effective results.

Here is the sequence for successful selling – of anything. 

  • Developing rapport and trust – 40% of the process.
  • Identifying Needs – 30% of the process.
  • Product Presentation – 20% of the process.
  • Gaining Commitment – 10% of the process.

I see people who jump on Facebook and immediately begin blasting multiple posts with their greatest product that you must buy.  I see people wanting jobs who simply walk in and tell the manager they need a job.  I see car salesmen who grab a customer and walk them right over to the Chevy Tahoe because that’s where they make the most commission.  I see pastors who scream that their listeners are evil and must change their ways. 


These are all examples of inexperience and missing the critical first two steps of selling.  With no trust and no identification of the need, there will be no sale.

Years ago, on the first day of my sophomore year at The Ohio State University, my friends and I were watching the new batch of freshman girls arrive.  Upon seeing Joanne (17 and gorgeous), I quickly asked for someone who could introduce me – a trusted friend of hers.  While walking with her briefly I noticed she was struggling to hold her books while putting a notice on the community bulletin board.  I offered to post the notice and saw that she was asking for a ride to school from her home on the other side of town.  I kindly offered to supply that ride – just for a couple of days until she found someone to bring her regularly (ha).  Six months later, having charmed her with my simply farm boy ways, I asked her to marry me.

50 years later I’m glad I understood the process of effective selling.  I developed trust and rapport, identified multiple needs, presented the product (me) and gained commitment on the most important deal of my life. 

Only an idiot would walk up to a girl and begin the conversation by asking her to marry him.  You have to go through the process of selling.  In the same way, no one who understands selling would blast masses of people with some business deal without first understanding their needs and desires.

If you need a job – you have a product to sell (you).  If you are starting a business – you have a product or service to sell.  If you have a job and want to keep it – you have a product to sell (you) – every day!   If you want to find a mate, you have a product to sell. 

Understand this process of selling and you can transform your success in any area of your life.  It’s not manipulation or deception, just common sense finding a need and filling it.

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  • DDDDDuane

    Hey Dan, This was a great brief article…..How much later did you and the gorgeous woman in the photo with you actually get married?

  • Dan – thanks for this. Short, to the point, and illustrates an important truth. Too many people try to skip ahead — trying to get to the finish line without first building that trust and rapport.

  • Rhonda Peterson

    Great story, Dan. Such a powerful way to illustrate your point. Almost all of us can relate to this story from one side or the other. 🙂

    Oh, and Go Bucks! Fellow Ohio State alum here!