Why I’ve had a lifelong love affair with money

Why I’ve had a lifelong love affair with money. That may sound like a selfish admission, but I changed my thinking about money years ago.  My Dad was a pastor and I heard plenty about “the love of money.”  And while I respect his deep devotion, I think he misunderstood the message.  In today’s podcast I want to address these questions:

  1. How can I increase my sense of “deserving” success?
  2. What is your mindset about money?
  3. How can I address my “upper limit challenge?”
  4. How can I learn to serve from a full cup?
“Money and success don’t change people; they merely amplify what is already there.” Will Smith [Tweet This]

Show Notes:

Episode – 02-24-17

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In this episode, Dan Miller challenges our mindset regarding money. We are taught to love it or hate it; but, is there a healthier view that we can maintain? Our mindset are often the result of the instilled values of our upbringing and this can work to our demise. Listen as Dan shares from his personal experiences, observations, and thoughts regarding church teachings about money and how family can at times, hold us back from achieving our greatest success.

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Time Stamped Show Notes:

  • 00:57 – Preview of Today’s Show on Why I’ve had a lifelong love affair with money
    • How can I increase my sense of “deserving” success?
    • What is your mindset about money?
    • How can I address my “upper limit challenge?”
    • How can I learn to serve from a full cup?
    • “Money and success don’t change people; they merely amplify what is already there.” – Will Smith
  • 02:12 – As a kid, Dan decided to have a lot of money and enjoy it
  • 02:36 – Dan likes to personify money
  • 02:56 – When Dan went through a rough time a few years ago, he always had $100 tucked in one of the compartments of his wallet
  • 03:22 – Over the years, he gave out the $100, but replenished it every time
  • 03:41 – “Broke is just a state of mind”
  • 03:53 – Dan opens his arms to money
  • 04:57 – Over the years, Dan bought a lot of repossessed cars
  • 05:10 – Without exception, every car he bought had money (nickels, dimes, quarters)
  • 05:35 – That gave Dan the impression of how the previous owner took care of their money
  • 06:24What is your mindset about money?
  • 06:28 – Stop complaining about money
  • 06:55 – The only thing that works in the economy is allowing people to earn
  • 08:08 – Dan mentions a Bible verse: “The love of money is a root to all kinds of evil”
  • 09:16 – Do you believe that, “The safest thing to do is to not have any money [at all]?”
  • 09:31 – The church teaches us to hate money
  • 09:44 – In Dan’s experience, people with money are people who are gracious and giving
  • 10:11 – Dan mentions about the church’s teachings and contradictory points on money
  • 11:17 – “We get mixed messages from churches in terms of our relationship with money”
  • 12:06How can I learn to serve from a full cup? People are taught that the Christian life means to put others first
  • 13:12 – People who puts others first end up burned out and resentful that they’ve struggled so much with nothing left to give
  • 14:03 – Most Christians’ way of serving is depleting themselves and ending up without resources
  • 14:35 – “This is a distorted idea of service”
  • 14:51 – Growing up as a pastor’s son, he was able to observe unhealthy teachings
  • 15:23 – Dan elaborates on some examples of this
  • 17:57 – Dan’s story that is somewhat similar to “Goldilocks and The 3 Bears”
  • 18:47 – Share when your cup is full
  • 19:55 – Stop the scarcity mindset
  • 20:27 – Don’t deplete yourselves to help others
  • 21:31 – Don’t stop when the cup is full – you want an abundance to help others
  • 22:34 – How big is your cup?
  • 24:06How can I address my “upper limit challenge?”
  • 24:12 – The book, The Big Leap talks about the upper limit challenge
  • 24:18 – Each of us have an inner thermostat setting
  • 24:40 – Dan shares an example of, How can I increase my sense of “deserving” success?
  • 25:09 – When sense of deserving doesn’t match the reality, people will find themselves back where they came from
  • 26:03 – People self-sabotage until their reality matches their sense of deserving
  • 26:26 – Other signs of the upper limit challenge is worry, blame, criticism, and not keeping promises
  • 28:59 – The upper limit challenge negates people from identifying their sense of deserving
  • 29:33 – When Dan was 17, he took some money from his savings account to visit Puerto Rico with a friend and his father thought it was stupid
  • 29:57 – Dan shares more of his personal experiences with the upper limit challenge
  • 31:51 – We come from family systems where successes are not really viewed positively
  • 32:26 – This is one of the reasons why Dan talks so much about getting into masterminds
  • 32:44 – Family systems become a hindrance for people to achieve success on their own
  • 34:58 – Are you willing to find, develop, and fully use your strongest talents and passions?
  • 35:10 – What is holding you back?
  • 36:47 – Become a vessel where blessings can flow to other people
  • 37:43 – Dan closes today’s podcast


3 Key Points:

  1. Being broke is a state of mind—therefore, keep an open mind to money.
  2. You will be able help a lot more than you could IF you take care of yourself and your resources, first.
  3. Your sense of deserving MUST match your reality.


Resources Mentioned:


  • Show Notes provided by Mallard Creatives

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  • carson

    Your podcast reminds me of ecclesiastes 10:19B but money is the answer for everything. Talking about getting and useing money wisely. The other extreme would be evil. You know why not lie cheat steal and murder a few people if you could be a billionaire.

    Can’t wait until 7am cst tomarrow as the berkshire hathaway annual letter written by warren buffett will hit the internet around that time. You want to get wiser with any amount of money invest the time and read it.

  • Dan, I love it when you occasionally have episodes like this one. Just listening to the depth of your wisdom and experience is so inspiring! Challenged me again to identify upper limits and blast through them. Thank you for sharing how you have done this (and continue to) in your own life.

  • Dan, you mentioned a video link on the podcast but can’t find it on the page? Thanks.

    Thought provoking and needed message in many parts to breakthrough internal barriers. Interesting case studies in the buddhist author of ‘The Big Leap’, with good ideas, case studies but some unbalanced views.

    Dan, can you clarify some of your comments as a Christian, when compared with the following:

    > Jesus exalted widow with 2 mites sacrificial giving. In your podcast, I got the impression that you were knocking down her inability to have more money in her container? Don’t believe that’s what you would mean?

    > You talk about loving money in context of 1 Timothy 6, but the rest of that passage seems to also warn strongly against going after riches as a path to falling in most important areas of life eternal.

    Also, couldn’t help but remember Jesus warning: I will either hate one and love the other or love one and hate the other (referring to money and The Kingdom). Emphasis in that passage was to FIRST seek The Kingdom of God (right alignment in my heart with God, right thoughts, no anxieties leading me to love money or worry about paying my bills, Being still before God in quiet prayer times loving his presence and trusting His Sovereign plan,etc.). How would you reword your podcast in light of those passages to not be misunderstood?