“I am 33 years old and have nothing to show for it. Nine years after college, I have no job, no career. Just a couple useless degrees. I studied fashion design, then graphic design. I’ve had around 5 jobs in that time lasting 6 months each. The jobs I’ve had have been crappy. The people in all of them were hateful and toxic. I’m starting to think the typical workplace isn’t for me.  All the doors seem shut for me. I still don’t know if I have any talent. I’m starting to doubt my self-worth. I’ve read your books, but nothing has clicked yet.  I really can’t seem to get a job? Not even a crappy job, what do I do? Please Dan, help me.”

Jill – let’s be brutally honest here.  All the jobs you’ve had have been crappy and all the people you’ve worked with were hateful and toxic?

What’s the common denominator in all of these situations – YOU.

Happiness and contentment are very much an inner game – not just a result of circumstances.  If your happiness depends on the circumstances around you, you are always very vulnerable.

Become a person people want on their team.  Be a happy, enthusiastic person. Smile readily, compliment other people on their work.  Ask people about their interests and then listen intently.  The quality of your work will improve and other companies will be recruiting you.

Now ultimately you have to be able to produce work that has value.  And whether you do that as an employee, a free-lancer, or by standing on the street doing caricatures  is not important. The key is that you are able to produce something that people will pay for.

I’m sending you a fresh copy of the latest version of 48 Days to the Work You Love – with the audio CD “Is Your Job Your Calling?”  A lot of what I talk about in there is becoming a person of value – that’s 85% of the process.  Having degrees or training is maybe 10-15%.

Jill, you can change your success immediately – read on:

Here’s another note – the day before – from Terry in Orlando, FL.

“Hi Dan, Reading 48 Days and No More Dreaded Mondays gave me a desperately needed attitude adjustment toward my job and life in general.

I started giving an extra 110%, all while focusing on the great aspects of my job instead of the toxic negativity, which had affected all areas of my life. Shortly thereafter, I unexpectedly received a 10% off-season raise. My manager said that I was bringing a lot of value to the project and I deserved a boost. Three months later, I received a stellar performance review with an additional 5% pay increase. Thanks for sharing your words of wisdom to help me turn my life around.”

Same job, same boss – what changed.  Terry did.

When I crashed financially a few years ago it would have been tempting to point fingers at the bank that pulled my credit line, the “economy” that was at a low point, or the customers who were slow to pay.  But I knew all that would do is keep me down.  I wouldn’t hurt them nearly as much as I would hurt myself and my family.  I had to look at the guy in the mirror and decide to be a person others wanted to be around – in spite of my circumstances – and that lead to the incredible opportunities I enjoy today.

Don’t like your circumstances?  Change yourself and watch your circumstances change as well.

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2. Is this my passion or am I just temporarily enthusiastic?

3. I feel virtually hopeless when I think about my current job situation. I feel like I am wearing a professional straight-jacket.

4. I know you talk about flipping cars and I am very interested in that

5. How can I monetize my podcast?

6. Why is my Indiegogo campaign stalled?

7. Can I be a life coach at age 24?

To get a free audio copy of How to Win Friends and Influence People, please visit audiblepodcast.com/48Days.

Check out Three secrets of highly successful graduates by Reid Hoffman

The fastest way to change yourself is to hang out with people who are already the way you want to be. Reid Hoffman, founder LinkedIN

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On May 30-31^st we’ll be teaching tools and tactics for coaches to grow their businesses at the only remaining Coaching with Excellence event this year.  Here’s just one issue that comes up every time.  How do I get my first client?

The difference between an amateur and a professional is just $1.00.  As soon as you’ve been paid one dollar you’ve moved from amateur, volunteer, good neighbor and empathetic shoulder – to a professional.  The key then, is to learn how to replicate that process.

We know why people have coaches in basketball, golf, tennis and swimming.  People use coaches in other areas of life for the same reason; they want someone to work with them, to encourage them, to push them, to make them better.  Many people who engage coaches are already successful.  They understand the process of setting goals and reaching them – they just want to achieve more in a particular area.  They want the unbiased feedback a coach will give them.

No matter how good you are as a coach, if you sit around and wait for word-of-mouth to bring you your first client, you may be sitting for a very long time.  Word of mouth is wonderful, but only comes after you’ve been coaching for a period of time and have a strong base of happy clients.  Getting your first client can be compared to a recent college graduate getting that first job.  Employers want people with experience, but the new grad can’t get experience without having a job.

But you can break into the coaching arena by being creative – just like a new grad can if they know how.   Here are my 10 Tips for Getting Your First Client.

1.  Identify your area of specialty – don’t be a generalist.  Don’t say you are a Life Coach.  Say you work with Moms who are re-entering the workplace or Baby Boomers who are close to retirement.

2.  Know your Ideal Client.  Don’t worry about being too narrow or rejecting a large segment of the population.  You will build your credibility and reputation much faster by being known as a specialist in a particular area.

3.  Create your Elevator Speech.  Be able in 30 seconds to describe what makes you remarkable.  Instead of being a “dentist” you are someone who helps people gain a new sense of self-confidence in one hour.  Then you have the opportunity to tell how you do that.  Make sure your response to “What do you do?” initiates further conversation.

4.  Let your Ideal Client get to know you better.  People do business with people they know, like and trust.  If you are speaking somewhere, invite a potential client to come with you.  Send them a helpful article or book.

5.  Make it easy to do business with you.  Have a selection of products and services so people can feel like they can chose what they are most comfortable with.  Provide clear payment options.

6.  Connect with other coaches.  Don’t see them as competition.  Believe that a rising tide raises all ships.  Learn from other coaches and share your advice with them.  Let them know your area of expertise and refer to them when there is a fit.  Create projects, events and programs you can work on together.

7.  Prepare a 20 minute speech around your topic.  This can fuel your success quickly.  If you speak and people are interested they will approach you about personal work together.  Have a one-page handout with contact information.

8.  Volunteer to coach 5 clients through a worthy organization – get testimonials and referrals.  The best source of new clients is hearing past client brag on what you did for them.  Get in the game and then ask for referrals.

9.  Pitch yourself as a radio guest.  Have a “hook” to make you an interesting guest.  I often speak on “Hold Fast to Dreams” and I’m asked often if this is a time to pay attention to our dreams – or should we just be realistic and practical until the “economy gets better.”

10. Ask for the commitment.  You have teach people to give you money.  Don’t be afraid to ask which option would serve them best, but then ask for the commitment.

Set a timeline.  I will have _______ paying clients in the next _________ days.

At Coaching with Excellence you’ll get all the forms I used for initial engagement with a client, the interaction I use for keeping someone accountable, how to present your fees in a comfortable way, 48 Tips for filling your schedule, and how to leverage your expertise for additional income.

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Sign over a Gynecologist’s Office:

• “Dr. Jones, at your cervix.”

On a Plumber’s truck:

• “We repair what your husband fixed.”

On a Plumber’s truck:

• “Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”

Pizza Shop Slogan:

• “7 days without pizza makes one weak.”

At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:

• “Invite us to your next blowout.”

On a Plastic Surgeon’s Office door:

• “Hello. Can we pick your nose?”

On an Electrician’s truck :

• “Let us remove your shorts.”

At an Optometrist’s Office

• “If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.”

Outside a Muffler Shop:

• “No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.”

In a Veterinarian’s waiting room:

• “Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”

At the Electric Company:

• “We would be delighted if you send in your payment.  However, if you don’t, you will be.”

At a Propane Filling Station,

• “Thank heaven for little grills.”

And don’t forget the sign at a Chicago Radiator Shop:

• “Best place in town to take a leak.”

Just think about the obvious connection for each of these businesses.  And yes, you can be cute!  Make sure the slogan fits you.  I would probably not choose something humorous because I’m not a funny guy – but take the opportunity to play with something memorable to brand your business.

We are seeing lots of fun businesses and slogans being developed in the 48Days.net community.  What are you using for your business?  Or what slogan made a business memorable for you?

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But then I see people starting successful businesses that are not high tech at all.  Darren Rayborn is considering starting a headlight restoration business – where you polish the faded headlights we so commonly see.

Jeff David loves food – so he visits local restaurants and writes reviews.  He is now writing regularly for his local newspaper and has restaurant owners calling him to come review their stores.

Jim Anderson bills himself as a garden consultant and aesthetic pruner.  I just had him create a master plan for our property here in Franklin, TN.  His suggestions are going to add color and intrigue to the areas around our house and the Sanctuary.

Jacinta Kroll is a 34 year old stay at home wife and mother of two young kids, ages 6 and 2.  She paints on garden stones and sells them  on Etsy.  She calls her little business Blessing and Light and in her first 124 days had over 350 sales.  Now she’s working on setting up wholesale accounts because of the requests she’s getting.  This week I officially became an LLC and am working towards setting up wholesale accounts

I could go on with many, many more from the 48Days network.  But as we can all see, these are not complicated businesses.  Rather, they represent people who simply found a way to follow their passion.   I love these simple businesses – and still think about new businesses I could start – about 8 times a day.

And they are getting inspiration and advice from other members of the 48Days.net community.  As I describe in 48 Low or No Cost Business Ideas, there are only three reasons people never act on their dreams to achieve the financial independence they desire.

1. Fear of Failure
2. Lack of Knowledge
3. Perceived lack of money

But nothing is stopping these people mentioned above.  They just moved ahead with their dream – and the resources they found readily available.  Any talent you have can be turned into a successful business – if you take action.

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2. My payplan was just changed. Is this a blessing in disguise?

3. Could my novelty product make me an extra $500?

4. How much is age a factor in getting an interview for a second-act career? I’m 56.

5. I am 53 with arthritis in my knees. I’m looking for some career that will allow me to continue working.

Michael Potter success (FinancialProverbs.com) because:

I identified what I wanted to do
I identified a need
I identified a path
I identified the possibilities

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Let’s take a common situation.  You hate your job but look at the options like this:

1. Be responsible and keep the job – no one would quit in this economy
2. Quit the stinking job – prove your mother-in-law right and have no income

Don’t assume too quickly that there are only two or even three possibilities. In No More Dreaded Mondays I describe that if you despise your boss, you could

1. Quit your job
2. Ask for a transfer
3. Learn to love your boss
4. Buy the company and fire the boss
5. Do a great job search and find 2-3 new opportunities
6. Join the Marines
7. Go back to school
8. Marry the boss’s daughter or her son
9. Praise the boss’s work to facilitate a promotion for him or her
10. Start your own business

Some options are clearly more attractive than others, and I’m confident you could think of several more as well. The point is, you always have multiple choices. There is never one option only.

More often than not, you have more choices than you first think.

Genius seems to have little to do with scoring 1600 on your SAT, mastering quantum physics at age seven, or even being especially smart.  Genius seems to be more about the ability to see solutions that others don’t. The mark of genius is a willingness to explore all the alternatives, not just the most likely solution. Asked to describe the difference between himself and an average person, Albert Einstein explained that the average person, when faced with the problem of finding a needle in a haystack, would stop when he or she found a needle. Einstein, by contrast, would tear through the entire haystack looking for all possible needles.

Are you missing choices by “narrow framing?”

Check out our Creative Thinkers Package that includes No More Dreaded Mondays, The Strangest Secret (the little book that opened my eyes to new opportunities at age 13), our famous 48 succulent peppermint candies – and more. Don’t miss the rich opportunities in choices 3-10 in any situation.

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Once there was an old man who lived in a tiny village. Although poor, he was envied by all, because he owned a beautiful white horse. People offered fabulous prices for the horse, but the old man always refused. “This horse is a friend, not a possession,” he would respond.

One morning the horse was not in the stable. All the villagers said, “You old fool. We told you someone would steal that beautiful horse. You could at least have gotten the money. Now the horse is gone, and you’ve been cursed with misfortune.”

The old man responded, “Perhaps. All I know is that my horse is gone; the rest I do not know. Whether it be a curse or a blessing, I can’t say.”

After fifteen days the horse returned. He hadn’t been stolen; he had run away into the forest. Not only had he returned, he had brought a dozen wild horses back with him. Once again the village people gathered around the old man and said, “You were right – what we thought was a curse was a blessing. Please forgive us.” The old man responded, “Perhaps. Once again you’ve gone too far. How do you know if this is a blessing or a curse? Unless you can see the whole story, how can you judge?” But the people could only see the obvious. The old man now had twelve additional horses that could be broken and sold for a great deal of money.

The old man had a son, an only son. He began to work with the wild horses. Unfortunately, after just a few days, he fell from a horse and broke both his legs. Once again the villagers gathered around the old man and said, “You were right. The wild horses were not a blessing; they were a curse. Your only son has broken his legs and now in your old age you have no one to help you. You are poorer than ever.” But the old man said,“ Perhaps. Don’t go so far. Say only that my son broke his legs. We have only a fragment of the whole story.”

It so happened that a few weeks later the country went to war with a neighboring country. All the young men of the village were required to join the army. Only the son of the old man was excluded, because he had two broken legs. Once again the people gathered around, crying because there was little chance their sons would return. “You were right, old man.  Your son’s accident was a blessing.  Our sons are gone forever.”

The old man spoke again. “You people are always quick to jump to conclusions. Only God knows the final story.”

And so it is with our lives. What we see as a blessing or a curse may simply be part of God preparing us for what lies ahead.  Be careful in seeing “disaster” in any change.  Just recognize it as change – which opens the door for good as well as bad – for gain as well as possible loss.

I’ve spent 25 years seeing people go through unexpected and unwelcome change – and have enjoyed seeing most move on to more opportunity, freedom, fulfillment and income.

What experience have you had – where initially what seemed a curse turned out to be the beginning of a blessing?  

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”I realize that some people, especially some of my co-workers, might see me as a strange duck,” Mr. O’Rourke said. ”But where does it say that a man can’t love what he does for a living?”   Walter adds, ”I don’t need the money,” he added. ”I need the job.”

How’s that for a healthy perspective on work?  Walter seems to understand that work provides benefits in addition to just a paycheck.

In Turning Pro: Tap Your Inner Power and Create Your Life’s Work, Steven Pressfield says we all get two salaries – a financial salary and a psychological salary.  The first can be called conventional rewards – money, applause and attention.  Those are great if you can get them.

But then there’s the psychological reward – the sense of honor and satisfaction that comes from knowing we did something well, lived out our calling, or made our part of the world just a little better.

How do we find – or create – that kind of work? We should ask ourselves what we are good at, what we have a passion for, and what talents God has gifted us in. In what kind of work do we find our greatest spiritual and emotional satisfaction?

Finding the work that provides a big psychological salary may also protect us from one of the great temptations of our times: consumerism. Doing our work well, and finding satisfaction in it will protect us from the desire to drown out our unhappiness in buying things we don’t need.  And as Dave Ramsey would add, to impress people we don’t like.

Doing the work that God gifted us for—whether it be writing, driving a truck, or selling train tickets – does not make us second-class citizens, but rather people who are worshiping God with the unique abilities He gave us and expects us to use.

Is your work so important and meaningful that you would continue to go even if you didn’t need the money?

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2. How do you find excitement and joy in a job or career?

3. I just unexpectedly received a 10% off-season raise and then three months later and addition 5% pay increase.

4. I’m scared to death of where my job is leading and my future feels bleak.

5. How can I charge for my educational workshops?

Other notes:

Free copy of How to win friends and influence people

Six Ways To Make People Like You*

1. Become genuinely interested in other people.

2. Smile

3. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.

4. Be a good listener.  Encourage others to talk about themselves.

5. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.

6. Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.

Book on developing workshops:  

How to Develop and Promote Successful Seminars and Workshops: The Definitive Guide to Creating and Marketing Seminars, Workshops, Classes, and Conferences 

Innovate – September 5^th and 6^th, 2013

Scott Stearman – sculptor 

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