However, the rest of the story soon came out. Baby Daddy has discovered that if can get custody of this little girl, he will receive free housing, food stamps and a monthly stipend. He can totally remove himself from having to work, and can live the life he has apparently dreamed of.  I’d call this guy a sluggard.

I have three questions:

1. What motivates a person to stoop this low, in using an innocent child as a ploy for personal gain?

2. What has to happen to a person to give up on this level – to decide that a meager handout is better than the wide-open opportunities we all have in front of us?  And thus deprive oneself of the incredible satisfaction of meaningful, purposeful and profitable work?

3. How have we as a society allowed this kind of option to even be made available?

The Biblical Proverbs are full of interesting descriptions of the “sluggard.”
Here are just a few telltale signs:

• The sluggard is a procrastinator. Sluggards love to sleep, watch TV and put off anything meaningful until tomorrow.
  How long will you lie there, you sluggard? When will you get up from your sleep?(Prov. 6:9)

• The sluggard is self-seeking. Always looking out for number one – himself. He has no consideration for anyone else.
  The sluggard craves and gets nothing, but the desires of the diligent are fully satisfied. (Prov. 13:4)

• The sluggard makes no plans for the future. Every day is like the previous one – just wait and see what happens. He thinks only of the present. He constantly talks about tomorrow, because that’s when he’s going to do something important; but he never thinks ahead.
  A sluggard does not plow in season; so at harvest time he looks but finds nothing.(Prov. 20:3-5)

• The sluggard uses unfounded fears and excuses keep from doing anything. The sluggard cannot possibly get to work because there might be some challenge out there.
  The sluggard says, “There is a lion outside!” or, “I will be murdered in the streets!”(Prov. 22:13)

• The sluggard lacks self-discipline and self-control. Whatever is easy and immediately enjoyable will always be his first choice.
  The sluggard buries his hand in the dish; he is too lazy to bring it back to his mouth.(Prov. 26:14)

Okay, I know this doesn’t describe you – but you probably know someone with some of these characteristics.  What would you recommend for dealing with people like this?

We’ve all heard about jobs going to India, China, Taiwan and Mexico.  Well, here’s an even more imposing proposition.  A California company plans to anchor a 600-cabin cruise ship just beyond the three-mile limit off the coast of El Segundo, near Los Angeles, and fill it with foreign software programmers.  The company will classify the workers as “seamen,” and thus avoid U.S. payroll taxes and the need for immigration visas.  The programmers would work 8 or 10-hr shifts, day or night and receive about $21,500 a year.

Compare that to the salary of an American programmer – median salary for programmers is around $60,000, and those with extensive experience can make $125,000 or more.

Blueseed Co. in Sunnyvale, California plans to dock a large ship 12 miles off the coast of San Francisco – placing it in international waters – to house foreign workers who cannot get employment immigration visas. The vessel could hold 1,000 workers who would use temporary business or tourist visas to meet with clients, partners or co-workers on land.

Major U.S. oil companies are using foreign workers – again using the letter of the law to avoid paying the approximately $2500 visa fee for each worker by keeping them far enough off shore.

That ship you’re passing on your way to Hawaii may be filled with tightly cramped cubicles rather than the luxurious cabins you’re envisioning.

I can’t decide whether to admire the creativity or be outraged by the audacity.

Are there times we have to make distinctions between what is “legal” and what is “right?”

Rob is a layout editor for the local newspaper.  His cell phone never stops ringing:  reporters are demanding deadlines that are impossible to meet, journalists are furious their stories have been bumped, a national news story breaks 15 minutes before press time, he knows that his chest pain is more than just indigestion, and once again he’s missed his son’s baseball game.  But he sucks it up – knowing that in just 10 more days he can leave for his annual two week vacation.  He’ll unwind and get rid of all this stress.

But we know that plan doesn’t really work.  This bulimic way of handling stress – letting it build to a boiling point and then stopping work completely for several days doesn’t work.  It is dangerous and destructive.  That daily accumulation of stress doesn’t just go away in a few days of relaxation – it tears down as it occurs in ways from which you will never recover.  It clogs arteries, raises blood pressure, reduces concentration and creativity, and saps our spiritual and emotional energy.  The ongoing effects are that it makes us more vulnerable to colds and more serious diseases.  It sets us up for weight gain, facial wrinkles and strained relationships.

We have to have a process of “breathing” in our work.  Just exhale and you will eventually turn blue and pass out.  Can you allow yourself time within your workday to inhale – and exhale?

I actually had a physician mention recently that he had considered sticking his hand in a meat grinder, so he could collect disability and escape the daily demands of his position. It may have been said partly in jest, but the pressure felt is not uncommon among workers at all levels. A dentist told me he had an ultralight plane – specifically because he was preparing to make a socially acceptable exit from the life of stress he had created.

Here’s a better plan: learn to deal with the stress daily rather than letting it build up to a boiling point. When you feel tension building, take a deep breath, pull your shoulders back, take a walk around the block, drink a full glass of water, eat a couple of carrots, let your phone take messages, or spend 10 minutes in silent meditation. Come visit my work area – we’ll take a walk and see the bunnies, the deer and try out the new zipline I just installed.  Drive a different way home tonight, check out getting an ergonomic chair, remove agitating music from your work area, and include small “Sabbath” times of positive reflection and anticipation into every day.

Do you have healthy habits at work or are you showing signs of bulimia?

2. My success in selling cars is taking a toll on me emotionally.

3. How can I transition from these linear paying jobs to more residual income jobs?

4. Should I always dress up, i.e. suit and tie for an interview?

5. How would one go about selling enough PDFs/eBooks to make it worthwhile?

6. What is a reasonable Return On Investment when it comes to hiring a coach?

I trust this is a community where you will find plenty of both love and appreciation.

Do you ever think to yourself, “I want to be a better designer. Or writer. Or marketer…”? Insert whatever expert status you crave.

I think these thoughts a lot, often in preparation for some big plan I have. I want to be a better writer so I can publish a book. I want to be a better speaker so I can present at conferences.

But there’s a problem with wanting to improve your pet skills so you can accomplish a goal. Here it is:

Accomplishing goals is what makes you better.

My brain cannot fully prepare itself for book writing without tackling that very activity. My thoughts will never reach the state of concrete expression required for a book unless I start to write it.

It’s just like what everyone tells you about having children: you’ll never be ready, so you just start. You’re not equipped to be a parent until the kids come.

What is this concept of “ready,” anyway? Are we ever really ready for anything? Maybe things we’ve done a hundred times. I suppose I’m ready for work every day.

But ready is a state the brain craves most before we tackle big things. Unique challenges. Things for which we can’t actually prepare. Maybe it’s just our brain’s craving for safety, sameness, that urges us to wait until we reach that illusive level of preparation.

Here’s what I suggest. Whatever your big goal is, give yourself a near-term assignment. Keep the ultimate aim in your mind, but invent some other task — a scaled back version — to attempt right now.

This blog is an assignment I gave myself. It’s my scaled-back book. And I’m working on a speech for my Toastmaster’s Club. That’s a scaled-back venue I can reach before my long-term goal.

This isn’t quite the same as breaking your goal into steps or stages. Rather, it’s about devising a goal you can work on immediately that will help your brain feel prepared for your bigger goals. It’s about expanding your comfort zone.

Whatever you do, don’t let ready seduce you. It’s an illusion and pursuing it will keep you from the very thing for which you’re preparing.

At the recent Chick-fil-A Leadercast we heard a continuing theme about a different kind of leadership.

• Andy Stanley recognizes that as your influence grows it becomes more difficult to give everyone equal time – but to do for one what you wish you could do for everyone.
• Tim Tebow shared one of his core principles of doing what’s right and not worrying about the distorted media storytelling.
• Marcus Buckingham told us our most precious commodity as a leader is authenticity.
• John Maxwell said if we want to bring transformation to a culture and nation, we must first create transformation in ourselves.
• Dr. Sheena Iyengar made a convincing case in her brilliant presentation that effective leaders see choices through other’s eyes.
• Patrick Lencioni challenged us by saying that our family should get the same quality of planning and organization as our companies.
• Truett Cathy encouraged us to focus on getting “better,” not “bigger.”

Wow – what a different picture.  So it’s not how many cars I own, how many employees I control, being at the right parties or political events but rather how introspective, altruistic, and authentic I am.  That opens the door for a stay-at-home mom, a solopreneur, a janitor, a school teacher or a _____________ to be a bona fide leader.

So – do you choose to be a leader?  You don’t have to wait for degrees, certificates, promotions or an IPO.  You can be a leader – starting today.  Are you willing to accept the increasing responsibilities and opportunities that will begin showing up?

Passion, on the other hand, tends to PULL us toward something.  Personally, I prefer to be pulled toward
something, rather than feeling pushed along.  But then passion too can be temporary.  We have to take positive action rather than just reacting to pain.  And with no action we can also succumb to the status quo, or comfortable and predictable misery.

Traditional counseling tends to address those issues caused by pain.  Coaching tends to help people identify their passions and to help them create a plan for fulfilling those passions. It often surprises me how difficult people find it to identify their passions.  It seems the realities of life sometimes cause people to lose sight of, or become numb to, their passions.  But I believe they are there nonetheless.  You can identify those recurring dreams, your ideal life and the things you would most like to accomplish.  In doing so, you connect with the healthy “pull of passion” rather than the pathological “push of pain.”

(If you’re a coach – this is your task.  Help your clients identify and engage their passions.  Want to be a successful and profitable coach?  Join us May 24-25^th for Coaching with Excellence here at the Sanctuary in Franklin, TN.)

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Andy Stanley told us “every decision we make becomes part of our life story – choose carefully”.  Leadership oftentimes involves tough decisions.  In my own business, one of the key characteristics of finding work I love is aligning it with my values.  Live a life of integrity so you are proud of the story you tell, with no need to hide certain chapters.

Tim Tebow said one of the principles that influenced him was to avoid focusing on the things we can’t control.  The more in the limelight you are, the more critics you will have.  Stay true to what your purpose and intent are, and focus on what you have the power to control. If I waste time on the opinions of others I risk it tearing me down and losing my authenticity.

John Maxwell shared that one of his leadership principles is “I have to know me to grow me.”  When I was thirteen years old, I listened to a little RP record of Earl Nightingale’s “The Strangest Secret.” The focus of my mentor’s famous speech was “you become what you think about.” The more I take responsibility for who I am and what I learn, the more powerful my impact is on the world.  I took that to heart at thirteen years old and have shaped my life in constant pursuit of personal development.

After hearing each speaker, I asked myself, What if you are not a CEO, department head or business owner – and may not have the desire to be one? 

Is leadership still an option for you?  I certainly hope so.  Like many of you, I am not a CEO, nor will I be the next Steve Jobs or Sam Walton.  I have no employees and will never be the pastor of a large church.  And yet I have discovered that leading can be done in many ways.  We all have the opportunity for leadership in our lives, and the speakers today hit home on our own personal responsibility to lead our lives with deliberate focus.

The principles shared today apply to employees, independent contractors, and stay-at-home moms.  The concept of leadership is appealing to all.

I have been privileged to embrace what I know about myself – and yet become a leader in my community.  In August of 2000, I started an electronic newsletter with 67 names. I wanted to share the life lessons I’ve experienced in the process of overcoming being almost $500,000 in debt in a business that wasn’t a good fit for me to teaching others how to pursue business differently.  Today, over 130,000 have signed up for that newsletter.  Through friends of friends, my story spread because it was authentic– something people could relate to.

Now, over ten years later, I’m coaching listeners on issues of discovering ones’ calling, building positive relationships, and finding or creating meaningful work in my weekly 48 Days Online Radio show. I developed the 48Days.net online community (now over 11,000 members) so that others could share their stories of passion and leadership.  It’s not that I sought leadership; I chose to take my story, with all it’s twists and turns, and tap into my innate gifts to motivate others. I believe in the power of having mentors, peers, and people I mentor.  Truth, integrity, and passion are attractive.  When you speak on topics you are passionate about, with a genuine desire to share it with others, people tend to listen, and oftentimes a leader arises.

So, what story do you want your life to tell?  What is your unique edge or area of competence?  Marcus said “every leader is different.”  What will make you stand out as a leader?  Will the decisions you made today tell the story of the life you want to be remembered for?  I know I took many notes today – the speakers have hit home with me.  This is one day of growth for me, but these speakers today have impacted my thoughts from today on – remember that every day you have the opportunity to learn and grow.  And this, I believe, is a key element in a great leader.