How can I make my spouse more like me?

What happens if you’re living with someone who has different views of the world?

How can I make my spouse more like me?

I didn’t say how can I make my spouse like me more. I said how can I make my spouse more like me.  There’s a tendency for us to want others to see the world in the same way we do.  To like the things we like and to have the same views and values as we do.  What happens if you’re living with someone who sees the world differently?     

Questions this week:

  1. How can an older construction worker develop new sources of income?
  2. How can I find new coaching clients? 
  3. Can my wife read books online and make money from that?
  4. How can I persuade my spouse to see the value in setting goals?
  5. And I’ve got good news – 

And a whole lot more questions if we get to them.

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”— Eleanor Roosevelt (Tweet This)

Our Poem This Week From Cliff Feightner 

When you look at the way that you’re bent
You can do things for which you are meant
Your passions and skills
Will pay all your bills
And other great blessings are sent 

Show Notes:
Episode – 07-28-17

Title: N/A
Subtitle: N/A

Summary:

In this episode, Dan talks about the theme of making your spouse more like you. People have their own unique personalities, and those personalities are what separate them from everyone else, including family. Rather than let those unique attributes lead to misunderstandings, embrace them. Learn to love them for having an alternate perspective, but don’t be afraid to let them know about something they might be missing. Tune-in to hear Dan talk about this and so much more in this week’s podcast.

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FreshBooks is offering a 30 day, unrestricted free trial to my listeners. To claim it, just go to https://www.freshbooks.com/48days

Time Stamped Show Notes:

  • 00:38 – Preview of Today’s Show on “How can I make my spouse more like me?” I didn’t say how can I make my spouse like me more – I said how can I make my spouse more like me. There’s a tendency for us to want others to see the world in the same way we do.       To like the things we like and to have the same views and values as we do. What happens if you’re living with someone who sees the world differently?

Questions This Week:

  • How can an older construction worker develop new sources of income?
  • How can I find new coaching clients?
  • Can my wife read books online and make money from that?
  • How can I persuade my spouse to see the value in setting goals?
  • And I’ve got good news
  • “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”— Eleanor Roosevelt
  • 02:21 – A poem from Cliff Feightner

    When you look at the way that you’re bent
    You can do things for which you are meant
    Your passions and skills
    Will pay all your bills
    And other great blessings are sent

  • 02:51 – FreshBooks is offering a 30 day, unrestricted free trial to my listeners. To claim it, just go to https://www.freshbooks.com/48days

  • 04:29 – Good news from Kurt in Alaska! He was a groomsman for 2 friends

  • 04:44 – The bride’s son, Tristan, died 2 years ago – he did not survive but was able to donate all his major organs
  • 04:54 – 6 months ago, the person who received Tristan’s heart, Jacob, reached out to say Thank You to Kelly and Becky
  • 05:11 – As a surprise wedding gift, Kelly flew Jacob to Alaska for the wedding
  • 05:31 – It was an amazing surprise!
  • 05:39 – The photographer posted the photos that night and 2 days after, the website had 19M hits
  • 06:50 – Dan shares an amusing story from Ontario, Canada

  • 06:55 – Retired mechanic built a $550 staircase on a dangerous local park trail
  • 07:08 – When several members of the community have fallen down the rocky path, local citizens called for price estimates
  • 07:34 – City estimated it would cost $65K – $150K
  • 07:49 – The mechanic found other neighbors who wanted to finance the stairs, hired a homeless man to help, and in 3 hours they built it for $550
  • 10:05 – “Find interesting ways to surprise people during the unexpected times”
  • 10:15 – Don’t make gifts all about you
  • 10:32 – True gifts don’t have company logos on them
  • 13:16 – The lady selling doll clothes patterns David referenced is Cinnamon Miles
  • 13:51 – Informational products are a possibility
  • 15:06 – Leveraging is also an option
  • 15:12 – Getting people to do remodeling jobs is almost impossible from Dan’s experience
  • 16:04 – Moving from doing the work to managing the work is a transition to leverage
  • 16:16 – Dan shares about Robert Smith’s son, Austin, who has a contract with their city to take care of citrus trees
  • 16:42 – Austin’s new business is making custom knives from wood
  • 17:28 – Don’t do just commodity – do something with value and meaning
  • 17:55 – Dan also shares about a lady who carved the Cedar tree on their property in front of the sanctuary
  • 18:42 – Dan encourages the older construction worker to look for unique skills he already has
  • 18:57 – Angie asks, How can I find new coaching clients?

  • 19:46 – Have something in between to lead people up the value ladder
  • 20:04 – Dan shares an example
  • 20:16 – Marianne just completed 48 Days’ coaching mastery program
    • 20:38 – Scan local businesses for opportunities
    • 20:42 – Create a list of 40 businesses to approach for leadership training
    • 20:52 – Make 5 calls weekly to business leads
    • 20:55 – Follow up with 18 city leaders for referrals
    • 21:06 – Identify and contact 15 business associations
    • 21:10 – Do weekly blog, e-news, Facebook posts, etc
    • 21:22 – Go to social events to engage with people
    • 21:30 – Do online workshops
    • 21:37 – Book 10 speaking engagements
    • 21:46 – She’s a valued employee, working full time
    • 22:05 – Marianne went to several rallies of mayor candidates for their town
    • 22:25 – She took note of one of the candidate’s promises that he’ll take calls if he won the election
      • 22:32 – Day after the election, Marianne called the new mayor and asked if they can meet up and talk about the city’s vision
    • 23:09 – Marianne asked if the mayor was open for help and offered a solution
  • 24:13 – Dan also shares about a person from their coaching mastery program
  • 24:46 – Marianne’s website is Marianne Renner Life Coaching
  • 25:25 – Erin says, Can my wife read books online and make money from that?

  • 26:00 – Last week, somebody read about Jim Hodges who reads old history books and makes materials for homeschoolers
  • 26:48 – If your wife is reading current books, publishers might not give permission to use the materials for monetization
  • 27:45 – Get books that are in the public domain
  • 28:31 – Get educated what’s in the public domain and what’s not to avoid copyright issues
  • 29:02 – Ask questions on AskDan or send them to askdan@48days.com
  • 30:10 – 60% of the emails Dan gets is not about questions but requests to be on the show
  • 31:46 – Podcast listeners take action – this is a huge differentiating factor for terrestrial radio
  • 32:41 – Advertisers are aware of this
  • 33:00 – Dan now needs a sorting system for emails
  • 33:21 – Tom says, How can I persuade my spouse to see the value in setting goals?
  • 34:25 – Tom’s wife is still in the survival mindset
  • 35:19 – A couple of resources are available for you. Dan and Joanne’s What if the Negative Person is my Spouse
  • 36:17 – Recognize that security is not just money in the bank
  • 36:31 – Acknowledge your different personality styles
  • 36:56 – Dan’s goal was not to make Joanne his clone but to embrace her uniqueness
  • 37:29 – There may be value in the unique perspective of your spouse
  • 37:59 – Read about The Big Leap
  • 39:27 – Coaching can be a mental remodeling

  • 39:43 – Not hitting a goal is NOT failure
  • 40:47 – Listen more, talk less
  • 41:19 – Dan and Joanne determined an amount for Joanne to have her personal account on a monthly basis
  • 42:04 – A monthly allowance gives your wife the freedom to do what she wants without having to ask
  • 42:47 – Dan says this is a life-saver for their marriage
  • 44:18 – Let your children follow their curiosity to find their calling
  • 45:01 – Expose your children to things that will shape their thinking
  • 45:46 – Don’t worry about the job they’re going to have
  • 46:37 – Dan is confident his grandkids will get through those early years of jobs
  • 47:02 – Look to the next generation as your legacy
  • 47:25 – 3 things that kids need are great relationships, great conversations, and the chance to think for solutions
  • 48:31 – Success is not just based on money
  • 48:43 – The new 48 Days Eagles site – This is the best place for moving your career forward

3 Key Points:

  1. Don’t try to make your spouse your clone, learn to embrace their uniqueness.
  2. Be willing to go the extra mile in building your network and connections.
  3. Recognize that money is not the sole basis for security and success.

Resources Mentioned:

 

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  • Way to go Marianne Renner! What a great example of moving from DREAM to DO as a speaker and coach.