Stuck in indecision for fear of making a wrong move?

Dan Miller —  November 7, 2013 — 10 Comments
This is a guest post from Joel Boggess. He is a life coach, the host for Finding Your Voice Radio and he is on the 48Days.net advisory team. His new book is titled “Finding Your Voice”. As I wrote in the foreword, the investment of your time will come back multiplied with more confidence and enthusiasm – and you’ll discover a powerful voice that will inspire and encourage others along the way.  Here are other links to Joel’s work and new book:  Amazon book pageWebpage, Facebook.  If you’d like to guest post on this blog, check out the guidelines here.

Stuck in indecision for fear of making a wrong move?

Have you ever watched a creative cook in the kitchen? A dash of this, a dollop of that, a pinch of something else…and the next thing you know, you’re biting into a delicious concoction for which no recipe exists. Occasionally this kind of cook misses the mark: a cake flops or the sweet and sour sauce turns out a little too sour. In general though, experimental cooking works out just fine – and sometimes the combination of flavors blows your mind.

The same approach that can work wonders in the kitchen can also work wonders in your life. Unfortunately, rather than experimenting and art_experiment_with_life“taste testing” along the way many people approach every decision as if life and death hang in the balance. One wrong choice, and BAM! It’s over. The pressure to make the right decision becomes so intense, the tendency can be to do nothing rather than make a wrong decision.

Experimentation = Liberation

But what if you approached life differently (with a new belief perhaps) and assumed that by and large, most things work out OK and the things that don’t generally aren’t major catastrophes? What if you chose to see each situation for what it really is? A chance to grow.

By giving yourself permission to try something on a temporary basis, you free yourself from the fear of failure. It’s OK if your experiment fails. Testing an idea’s merit is what experiments are for. Maybe it will work. Maybe you’ll love it. Or maybe you’ll decide it isn’t for you after all. You could study a subject that interests you, volunteer with a cause that tugs at your heart, take an internship or short-term apprenticeship, plan a trip to a place you’ve never been before, take on one client on a freelance assignment. You don’t have to commit for a lifetime, and you might discover something that stirs your soul like never before.

Circumstances can bring new ideas and opportunities

For my friend Deby, she had no choice but to try new things.

Two years ago, Deby’s voice began to tremble. As doctors searched for the cause and a cure, her voice weakened until it one day it was completely gone. Deby had been a singer and songwriter all her life and was just beginning a speaking and coaching career. She needed her voice to survive financially.

Through her pain and frustration, Deby heard a voice within her that told her to paint.

“This is play. This is a discovery.” Her art teacher Dorsey’s instruction to the class was to remain unattached from the work – to be ready to rip it up and use it in another way. Dorsey removed all the stress from the learning process—something Deby desperately needed. During a time when she couldn’t speak, her art served as both a way to express herself and a source of healing. Over the next few months her voice slowly returned, but she knows she will never give up her newfound love of painting. Besides, she has been able to sell several paintings and is using that money to send her teenage grandson to a school in England. Deby’s discovery of her passion for painting also helped her realize she may have other untapped gifts. “If this was hidden within me, what else could I have missed?”

Ditch the grading system

Are you willing to give yourself permission to “rip up your work”? In other words, can you experiment without demanding perfection from yourself? What talents or gifts might you have overlooked or missed?

Remember to experiment with Life – the world is still a playground.

Practical takeaways

Experimentation without expectation opens doors of creativity.

God’s blessings are often dressed-up as challenges.

There is no report card attached to artistic expression.

  • Jay

    Great post. Fear is a limiter. I struggle with this like everyone else. Yet each time I rose above the fear things worked better than I ever expected. Thanks for the reminder!

    • http://www.4pointscoaching.com/category/podcast/real-good-health/ Pei Kang

      I love how you said it “Things worked better than I ever expected”.

    • http://www.findingyourvoiceradio.com/ Joel Boggess

      Hi Jay, Pei makes a great point – “better than expected”. The challenge and wonderful opportunity is – how can you create that result more often in your life?

  • http://www.findingyourvoiceradio.com/ Joel Boggess

    Hi Jay. Thank you for rising up and sharing. Here’s a question to think about: What is going on in your emotions, spirit, and life, when you are able to find the courage to overcome; how about when you’re not able to find it?

  • ferretrene1

    This is something that I’ve struggled with for a long time as well. The way I’ve dealt with it, (in case you all are interested) I go ahead and notice the bad feeling in me, and immediately think to myself “okay, if it’s uncomfortable, that means I’m going on the right path, and act from there. Usually when I fail, the consequences aren’t as bad as I imagined them. Thanks for your contribution.

    • http://www.4pointscoaching.com/category/podcast/real-good-health/ Pei Kang

      I love that! Success is always just outside that comfort zone. Thanks!

      • http://www.findingyourvoiceradio.com/ Joel Boggess

        Isn’t that the truth!

    • http://www.findingyourvoiceradio.com/ Joel Boggess

      Hi Rene,

      Thank you for sharing. We’ve all struggled with this at some level. It’s part of the human experience and as you’ve figured out in your own journey, when handled well, can lead to huge growth spurts.

      You talk about the “bad feeling”inside of you, I’m curious, what have you zeroed-in on that provides exhilaration, joy, and happiness?

  • Guest

    Hi Ferretrene1 (I’ll guess here and say Rene),

    Thank you for sharing. We’ve all struggled with this at some level. It’s part of the human experience and as you’ve figured out in your own journey, when handled well, can lead to huge growth spurts.

    You talk about the “bad feeling”inside of you, I’m curious, what have you zeroed-in on that provides exhilaration, joy, and happiness?

    • ferretrene1

      Mmm all the books that ive read, these blog posts and helping others who also struggle through life. Also the weird fact that i create my own reality and being criticized about it by my family and friends just because im not realistic. Lol. Does this answer your questions, does it make sense? Id like to hear any thoughts