“Dan – Ever since I was little, I’ve dreamt of being a wife and mother. However, right now I’m single. I try to get passionate about work other than being a wife & mom, but can never feel 100% excited about it. What happens if I never get married? What can I do? Thank you for your time and guidance!”
Geesh – I get lots of questions about how what book to read or what color shirt to wear to an interview. And then you throw out this zinger – wow, I could write a book about this topic.
Since Joanne and I are in Nokomis Beach, FL this week I’ll have to save the book version for later, but…………
I have no easy answers for singleness when you desire to be married. And yes, it comes up a lot. However, even with my focus on meaningful work I still see what we do to create income as only one component for a successful life. Yes, it’s important but work is only one tool for a life well lived. I would encourage you to be very intentional about making deposits of success in other areas of your life. Take the pressure off “work” being the only thing that gives you a sense of meaning and fulfillment. Make big deposits in the physical, social, personal development and spiritual areas of your life. Be a person others want to be around and to have on their team. Focus on who you are “becoming” not on what you are “doing.” Be a person everyone wants to be around – and in that mix you are likely to recognize potential husbands as well.
Here’s a little challenge for you:*
Douglas E. Lurton, who was a brilliant magazine editor helped many people succeed in business and in life. He always advised them, among other things, to make as many friends as possible. Once he even worked out a seven-day plan to win friends. He promised all who would follow it that they would not only have more friends at the end of the week, but that they would have a more pleasant week than they had ever known.
- On the first day write a letter – write to an old friend or a new acquaintance. Make it a friendly, chatty, personal letter.
- On the second day smile at every acquaintance you greet on the street or at work. And try to say a few words of praise to at least one person.
- On the third day say something kind to every close associate you see.
- On the fourth day call up someone you have just met and would like to know better and extend an invitation to lunch.
- On the fifth day find someone who is not very popular and pay a lot of attention to him or her.
- On the sixth day carry on a conversation with a stranger – a waiter, a waitress, a bus driver, a cab driver or a neighbor. If possible, praise something that person has done.
- On the seventh day encourage two people to talk about themselves. Say little about yourself. Get the others to talk.
(*From the Best of Bits and Pieces)
I really suspect that if you do this seven-day plan and do parts of it continuously, you’ll meet lots of interesting people. Perhaps even a knight in shining armour.