Joanne and I were talking recently about spouses who are not supportive of new ventures by their partner. I commented we often observe that creativity is a threat to selfishness. It can be seen as a threat to have a spouse want to get a new job, go on a cruise, open a new business, or even start a new hobby. Selfishness often wants to just keep things the same – not risking adventure or change that may bring with it new desires and dreams. Selfishness prompts criticism and criticism diminishes creativity and openness to new ideas.
“One thing scientists have discovered,” noted American editor Thomas Dreier, “is that often-praised children become more intelligent than often-blamed ones. There’s a creative element in praise.” And we know the same is true for adults.
As you know, 48Days.net is a community where we value both relationships and creativity. And hopefully you are surrounded by people who want you to be your very best self – to release the best you have to offer the world.
“Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live; it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.” ― Oscar Wilde
“Self-absorption in all its forms kills empathy, let alone compassion. When we focus on ourselves, our world contracts as our problems and preoccupations loom large. But when we focus on others, our world expands. Our own problems drift to the periphery of the mind and so seem smaller, and we increase our capacity for connection – or compassionate action.”
― Daniel Goleman, Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships
” The great danger for family life, in the midst of any society whose idols are pleasure, comfort, and independence, lies in the fact that people close their hearts and become selfish.,” – John Paul II.
Selfishness has been described as one of the major enemies of married love and of love within the family. More often than not, the selfish person is insecure, fearful and filled with doubt.
The irony, of course, is that selflessness (not selfishness, its opposite) is precisely the attitude that leads to more success. The person with confidence and healthy self-esteem will encourage others to go farther and will ultimately be the one to benefit the most from the compounding effect of expecting more.
Our 48Days community is based on our belief in abundance, not scarcity, and we share best by being unselfish with our resources and knowledge. I firmly believe that “a rising tide lifts all boats” and if others succeed more, I benefit as well. And as my wife Joanne explores art, travel, writing and personal growth, I benefit in seeing her pleasure, meeting new friends and expanding my own opportunities in countless ways. Maybe I’m really selfish after all.