How do I find rich people to hang around?

Dan Miller —  January 16, 2013 — 22 Comments

By now you’ve heard the cliches:

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” – Jim Rohn

“Your income will be the average of your 10 closest friends.”

Visit a prison and ask any inmate what kind of friends they had prior to their conviction.

This information shouldn’t come as a surprise.  The Bible warns us about hanging REGIS PHILBIN  (FILE PHOTO)around the wrong kind of people.  “Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person,  do not associate with one easily angered, 25 or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared.” Proverbs 22:24-25 (NIV)

It’s true that we become like the people we spend time with.

In a recent podcast I addressed some increasingly frequent questions:

1. How do rich people think?
2. Is money the root of all evil?
3. Can we really have it all?

My encouragement was to spend time with rich people if you want to become one of them.

The many comments have included the title above:  “How do I find rich people to hang around?”

The expectation is that we have to wait until we are one of them to spend time around them.  And that is just not true.  Let’s look at some possibilities:

  • Attend book signings – I recently attended a book signing for Michael Hyatt’s new book and got to meet Stu McLaren, Ken Davis and a bunch of other top leaders in business.  Cost for the event – zero
  • Watch for business breakfasts (I attend a couple a month – free because they are sponsored by local businesses.)   Our local Entrepreneur Center provides a monthly Entrepreneur’s Coffee, a monthly coffee meetup for Nashville’s business leaders to network and hear stories about entrepreneurship and starting businesses. No charge to attend.
  • Lunch and Learn events.   The Scarlett Leadership Institute provides monthly Lunch & Leadership events – free for anyone who wants to hang around leaders.
  • Join your local Chamber of Commerce
  • Become a member of your local Rotary Club
  • Attend concerts – here in Nashville there are multiple free concerts in any given week
  • Spend time at the Country Club – I am a member of the Vanderbilt Legends Club.  While I don’t golf that gives me dining privileges in their exclusive clubhouse.  I eat there 2-3 times a week.  The meals are priced comparably to O’Charleys or TGIF.  I see people like our mayor, Darrell Waltrip, Vince Gill, Gary Chapman, the president of the local college, authors, and many others.  My cost for that exclusive membership – zero.  I just pay for my meals – that’s it.  So rather than popping into Logan’s with the mall employees I make it a point to spend that time with high achievers.
  • Listen to EntrepreneurOnFire with John Dumas.  He interviews amazing people like Seth Godin, Guy Kawasaki, Gary Vaynerchuk, Barbara Corcoran, Pat Flynn and more. (Here’s my interview in that list.)
  • Listen to EventualMillionaire with Jaime.  She interviews nothing but millionaires and you can hear how they think and what they do. 

You can do everything I just listed here – long before you are a millionaire.   The common mistake in thinking is that we “have” and then we “become.”  If that were true, lottery winners would be grateful, respectful and continue in success.  Rather, we observe that most of them are angry and broke within 3 years.

One of the hallmark characteristics of highly successful people is that they spend time with those who are already performing at the level at which they want to perform.

We have to “be” before we “have.”  And you can “be” the person you want to be – today.

  • http://www.devindabney.com/ Devin Dabney

    Thanks for posting this. It’s great advice for those of us who aren’t millionaires “yet”. I think I’ll set up some Google Alerts to increase my awareness of local events.

  • http://twitter.com/JPKreiss JPKreiss

    I’ve always wanted to know how to get in the club. The only thing I’d add is to avoid being a suck-up when around people with high net worth. They tie their shoes one at a time. Also, don’t start pitching products or services. Ask questions about them, and improve the chances that they will invite you into their trusted circles.

    • 48DaysDan

      Great input. I’ve found rich people to be extremely gracious if you are interested in them. Build the relationship and doors start opening.

  • http://zenartandillustration.wordpress.com/ Raven Burnes

    Thank you for this post! I look forward to listening to these podcasts and keeping my eyes open for events in my area. And I just learned a lot today from the EventualMillionaire website!

    • eventualmillionaire

      Thank you Raven! I’m so glad you learned a lot from the site :)

  • Archie

    EXACTLY WHY I love to hang around my good friend, Dan Miller! :-)

  • http://www.howtohaveapositiveattitude.com/ Brad McCullouch

    Great post! Now how many of us will take action steps to do this?

    • http://zenartandillustration.wordpress.com/ Raven Burnes

      I did, Brad! : )

      • http://www.howtohaveapositiveattitude.com/ Brad McCullouch

        Sweet!

    • http://financialplanningapprentice.com Robinson Mertilus

      Great post and good point Brad. I’ve already put together a list of organizations I will visit by the end of February so that I can put this into action. This is a very practical and great first step for anyone looking to expand their network. I encourage everyone to come up with a plan.

  • eventualmillionaire

    Thank you SO much for including my site Dan. I truly appreciate it :)

  • http://kimanziconstable.com/ kimanzi constable

    I like how many practical tips you give to connect, if we really want to hang out with successful people, we’ll find a way. No more excuses!

  • http://twitter.com/MoneyWisePastor Money Wise Pastor

    Dan, I love your idea of hanging out where the achievers are. What a great way to make connections and build relationships.

    Over the last three years, I’ve taken my teenage boys out for breakfast once a week for some entrepreneurial mentoring. We’ve worked through several books, including “Boyhood and Beyond,” “The Slight Edge,” and now “Wisdom Meets Passion.”

    Recently, I had the idea of inviting successful people to join us for one of the breakfasts each month, to interview them and learn from their experience.

    The first one who joined us was a “millionaire next door” type, a 70-yr old who slowly built a rental property empire. The second one was a financial planner for millionaires. Both shared invaluable insights that helped open my boys’ eyes to new opportunities and ideas. The third one, joining us next week, is an executive coach who has worked with people using Paul J. Meyer’s material for 30 years. All three have been mentors in my life at various stages, and good friends.

    I’m glad for the opportunity to have my boys meet these successful people, enjoy a “business breakfast” with them, and learn personal, financial, business, and spiritual life skills that can shape them for the rest of their lives.

    • http://financialplanningapprentice.com Robinson Mertilus

      Great idea. I look forward to doing that someday with my little one.

  • http://christopherbattles.net/ Christopher Battles

    Thank you Dan. checked out some of the links. Right now I need to keep things in the realm of cost free, but it gives me some goals. I just subscribed to the Eventual Millionaire podcast. What I gathered from this post is how we put ourselves around. Stretch our comfort and eat somewhere else and sit and interact with others. Not only will it change my pace, but it will also touch those who are with me and help them also.

    • http://www.leavingconformitycoaching.com/ Randy Crane

      I’m in the same boat. As soon as I’ve posted this comment, I’ll be subscribing to the podcast. I will try the other free ideas on the list, too, and see what springboards I can find in the rest.

  • GP

    Go to church! My church has a great mix of people from all walks of life. There are a number of millionaires at my church and they are humble and work side-by-side with everyone on our mission projects. Similarly, get involved with non-profits. Their boards often have city leaders and you will help a good cause.

  • http://www.nathanmagnuson.com/ Nathan Magnuson

    Dan, I’ll never forget a conversation I had 8 years ago with the owner of a 15 chain restaurant in IL. He told me that the wealthier he got, the more he had to depend on God. I remember stopping in my mental tracks. “Wait, can you say that again?” Intuitively it seemed like it would be the other way around. Since then I’ve realized that the more God gives us, the more we ought to depend on Him to help us steward it well. I might not have that perspective if I hadn’t taken the initiative to see if I could drop by and ask him some questions.

  • Larry Mason

    Thanks for a clarifying post on this subject and some simple action steps that can be taken to bring the average up.

  • Marty Wenger

    I called the founder of a local business yesterday morning, asking if I could take him to lunch and pick his brain on some business ideas. ( It didn’t hurt that he deals in some of the equipment that I’m thinking of buying. ) By the appointed time of 1215 hours I was seated in the restaurant of his choice. This comment isn’t the place to go into all that I heard from him over the span of 90 minutes, but sure enough– membership in the Sertoma Club was highly valued by him for the networking opportunities and professional friendships it provided.

  • http://zenartandillustration.wordpress.com/ Raven Burnes

    How does one go about feeling comfortable around wealthy people when you have not yet manifested wealth? I had the opportunity today and though I enjoyed eavesdropping on their conversations, I didn’t feel any level of friendliness or cordiality from them. How do you increase your comfort level or does it just take time and practice?

  • adrian

    Dan, can I sit down with you and talk with you and hang with you. You seem to be on the right path. Lunch or dinner is open when I know that knowledge is being served. You can contact me at Adrian.cdm@gmail.com