See if you can detect the pattern in these comments I’ve heard recently:
- Should I do something I love or keep being a responsible provider?
- I’m torn between doing something creative or making money.
- I want to be in business but feel called to be in ministry.
- I know where my passions and talents are, but I don’t know what God wants me to do.
- I’d love to be an entrepreneur, but I’m the primary breadwinner for my family.
- I’d like to help the less fortunate but I barely have enough time for my own work.
The pattern is that all of these are artificial dichotomies – you don’t have to choose ONE. In each case you can do BOTH.
In The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People Stephen Covey pointed out that most people think in terms of “either/or”. If you’re nice you probably can’t be firm. Or if you’re confident you are not likely considerate. Or if I’m buying a car from you, one of us is going to win and one will lose. So, with the false belief that life is a game of choosing, we quickly assume that we can’t have two good things at once.
What if we started looking only for “AND” solutions?
Look at this list above again. Is there any reason you could not do BOTH in any of those situations? Don’t deprive yourself of the use of your creativity, the desire to make money, the call to ministry, the need to be responsible or the call to be an entrepreneur. Do it all.
Recently Joanne wanted to go to the beach and I felt the need to stay current on my work. So who won? We
both won. Why not? We went to Nokomis Beach, I worked early each morning, we typically had an early lunch, I’d work for another hour, then we’d hit the shops or be back on the beach for the gorgeous sunsets. And then we’d be at Captain Eddie’s or Sharkey’s for dinner and I’d check my email before bed.
Look for the “AND” solutions that make your life everything you want it to be.
And just for today you can have both pie and ice cream. Then live your life a la mode.
