Does God want me to “swallow poison every day”?

Oh my gosh I feel like that has been my struggle over the last ten years.  And even recently I have been pushing God away, not even sure I want to be a christian anymore, because I’m not sure I want to have a God that doesn’t let me have say in my dreams.  This post enlightens me.  As a listener and supporter of you Dan, this helps me because I am at the point in my life right now where I am struggling inwardly to move forward from my past hurts.  I want to pursue my dreams but I keep getting this feeling that God is not pleased with me, never because of my childhood as well.  I will let what you have said resonate with me for I want to be free from this prison of misconception.

First thing you need to do is renew your mind in the reading of God’s Word and find out that you are no longer a victim but a victor and that things are going to start happening for you and not to you. A lot of Christians do not even know what God has for them because they have not read his word or spent enough time with him to really know him.  If you say you know him, Jesus himself said, that my sheep know my voice.  You can hear him. Start thanking him for where you are right now and he will move you out of Egypt and into a land flowing with Milk n Honey. Have that heart of thanksgiving and look around for the good things you have. I am writing this as one who knows believe me. He has made me to become that tree planted by the rivers of water…..

This is exactly how I feel most times, that my opportunities do not match my God given talents and passions. I also believe that the trials and  persecutions assigned to me are in these areas. Not being able to enjoy using the gifts God blessed me with.

I have been struggling with what I thought were my gifts and talents.  This is one of the reasons why I picked up Dan’s book.  I do need to get back to Dan’s book and attempt to rediscover what my talent is.  I struggled for 4 years thinking I was a teacher only to find out that I spent a lot of time and money in the wrong place.  Now I am looking to start over again.  I feel too that I have been given a bitter gall to taste, but it has to do with how I have made my choices.

Dear Patrice,
Sometimes, the process is more important than the actions.   Perhaps the Lord put you in that situation to refine in you the dependence on Him to get the job done.  Also, He puts us in situations that aren’t necessarily exciting to our passions in order to be a testimony to those around us of His enablement inspite-of afflictions.  It’s like growing in a garden and your are a marigold.  The marigold may not care for the plants around it, but its aroma is a blessing to them because the pests that would destroy them intensely dislike its fragrance.  Possibly the Lord is using your aroma in the lives around you to apply the “balm of Gilead” to their hearts, while disbursing the powers of darkness in their lives.  Listen to the old adage, “bloom where you’re planted.”  The Lord promised to provide the water and the nourishment, our responsibility is to stay connected to the vine by drawing on our relationship to Him.  Ps. 23: 5.  Anne

Re: Does God want me to swallow poison everyday?

I worked 45 years in the oil and gas industry of West Texas because I couldn’t seem to get the education
and degrees in the fields I really wanted.  I did what was expedient to support a family and never did
anything I wanted to do.  For the past 25 years my second wife has constantly harangued me about
how she never has had a job, never had her own money, never had her own circle of friends…etc, etc.

Three years ago I got down to where I could not work anymore…I have Lymphatic Filariasis…worms
in my blood from my Air Force time in Laos, Thailand, and Vietnam in 1970-71.  I finally got on SS Disability 2 years ago and am successfully battling the LF….I’m back to where I can walk again. 

In my despair, I called on the Lord.  Not for ME, but to provide a means for my wife to have financial support if I die (she’s 20 years my junior).  Lo and Behold!, the following week a company
in Midland, Texas called me up and asked if they could lease 5 acres of our farm for an oilfield
saltwater disposal and fresh water sales station…..and offered us 5% of gross revenues from the operation.   I immediately accepted.  They expect the well to do $3 to $6 Million per year in disposals, and
we will get $150,000 to $300,000 of that per year. The lease is for 5 years with 3 more 5 year options. 

So, the Lord answered my prayer immediately….but not for ME.  He answered my prayer for my
wife’s future. But, as an adjunct to the answered prayer,  I will soon have the means to do some
of the things I always wanted to do when I was younger but put off because I was supporting a family. 

In my twilight years the Lord is allowing me some enjoyment for my past labors…..but, I had to ‘get
right’ before He answered…..I had to put someone else’s welfare before my own. 

Perhaps God is waiting on Patrice to make someone else’s welfare more important than her own before
he grants her prayer. 

ol’ Lawrence
 

Simple, not necessarily “easy” answer: “What does the Word say about that, Patrice?” And, “It’s only poison if you think it is.”

Without going into a dissertation, perhaps the life epiphany I had in Aug. of ’09 might help, Patrice. The epiphany was, “Life is lived INSIDE-OUT.” It’s not that I was completely unaware of this “fact,” but it’s like I had a 1,000-piece Word puzzle, that I had basically been accumulating over the last 25 years, swirling above my head.  When it all came together, the picture was “life is lived inside out.”

Here’s where God’s grace came in because that epiphany would not have had as big an impact on me as it has and this is a major point that many, if not most, myself included up till this point, miss.  It’s like having your site off of your rifle–no matter how much you “think” you have the bull’s eye in your site, you never are able to hit it.  The fact is no matter how careful you are in siting the bull’s eye, you will NEVER hit it because your alignment is off, your site is off.  It’s really like endeavoring, actually striving, to “be all you can be” WITHOUT the Lord.  No matter how much talent and desire you have, no matter how hard you “try,” you will never truly fulfill the desires God has placed in your heart because you are out of alignment.

That DOES NOT mean you’re a worthless person; it does mean, however, the devil has managed to deceive (deception, his greatest weapon) you into believing you’re doing everything right so it must be “that’s just the way things are or are supposed to be.”  NOT!! After a little over 6 decades of making mistakes ), I’ve finally gotten into the habit of looking at my CIRCUMSTANCES “IN THE LIGHT OF THE WORD,” rather than looking at the WORD “IN THE LIGHT OF MY CIRCUMSTANCES!”  The light of our “circumstances,” oh, sister so-and-so has been faithful all these years, never missed church, been a faithful tither, was a leader in the women’s ministry, even spoke in tongues, but she still died of cancer at age 55!, PALES when compared to the Word, “by His stripes we WERE healed[!!]“  It’s not the Word that is off, there’s nothing wrong with the “rifle;” but it’s our alignment, our lack of knowing and/or applying the Word, that continually makes us miss the mark, the bull’s eye, the desires God has placed in our hearts.  The rest of that scripture says, “commit your way to Him (who was the Word made flesh; Jesus is the Word, the Word is Jesus) and He WILL bring it to pass[!],” you will hit the bull’s eye (now I’m “preaching” to myself! )  The logical, undeniable consequence, result or outcome of following the Word is…we hit the bull’s eye!  When we finding ourselves missing the bull’s eye, don’t beat yourself up as the devil would have you do, just know we need to recalibrate our site, get realigned to the Word, ONCE AGAIN, and start hitting the bull’s eye again!

Okay, “back at the ranch!”  I believe this clarification of my epiphany will totally transform your life…IF, and it’s a BIG, CRITICAL “IF,” you CHOOSE to BELIEVE IT!   Here it is.  Are you ready?  “If you really, really want something, YOU’RE GOING TO GET IT!  ‘AND,’ and this is a really BIG ‘AND,’ If you really, really DON’T want something, YOU’RE GOING TO GET THAT TOO!!!”  For it’s NOT about what you want or don’t want, IT’S WHAT YOU FOCUS ON, that you will get.  This is a practical application of Phil. 4:8, “Whatever things are true, whatever things are pure, whatever things are of good report, THINK ON THOSE THINGS[!]“  The Word is so awesome, we just need to CONSTANTLY and CONTINUALLY listen to and follow the Holy Spirit’s tweaking of the Word!!

Now, in conclusion, (finally ) ), when we follow the Word’s mandate of “doing EVERYTHING AS UNTO THE LORD”–meaning whatever situation or circumstance or JOB we find ourselves in, we respond in the spirit of excellence and in and with His love.  It becomes a situation of “mind over matter”–if you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.  NOW, you don’t see your circumstances as OPPOSITION to the desires God has placed in your heart, but OPPORTUNITY, foremost of all, to allow God to show Himself strong on your behalf, on top of blessing all whom He brings across your path.  I can GUARANTEE, because it’s not me doing the guaranteeing, but the Word, the Lord, WHEN you do this, when you sow love and blessing to all whom the Lord brings across your path, that love and blessing, WILL NOT AND DOES NOT return void!

One last thing to put everything I have shared above into context–I say all of the above in spite of the fact that my wife of 22 years this July and I have been separated since 12/1/09; in spite of the fact that I have bills and loans “overflowing”–not God’s intent when it says “my cup overfloweth .  It is all “temporary and subject to change!” (2 Cor. 4:16-18).  And to the degree that I constantly, continually and fully align myself to ALL of the Word, is the degree to which I will experience the desires God has placed in my heart (non-profit holistic fitness center–physical, financial, relationship, spiritual, self-management fitness). 

KNOW, however, the devil only harasses those who are a “threat” to him, those whose desires are to “plunder hell and populate heaven,” and only those who are “harassible,” devouring whom he can, who have a little “pen knife of the Spirit” instead of the “Sword of the Spirit” (which is the Word of God).  KNOW ALSO, that “greater is He that is in you than he who is in the world,” that “if God be for us who [or what in hell] can be against us[!]?”  Through the blood of Jesus, through the cross, WE not the devil or his demons, have been been DESIGNATED, DEDICATED, DESTINED and ANOINTED as Jesus’ SPIRITUAL A _ _ KICKERS and NOT the other way around getting our “a’s” spiritually kicked around!  My apologies for the graphic analogy, but in the context of Eph. 6–”putting on the whole armor of God,” we are at war!  This is not a dress rehearsal, war games, this is the real deal and people’s spiritual lives are at stake.  Whoever has and maintains the vision of “kicking a _ _” the longest–WINS!  As we’ve just seen in the NBA play-offs, the game is not 59 minutes long, it’s 60 minutes!

My sincere apologies for what has turned out to be a dissertation, but I was just writing “off the top of my spirit” and this is what came out.  To Patrice and all who “happen” (there are no accidents with God) to read this, I hope all is well with you and your loved ones and even those in authority over you so that you are leading a “peaceable and quiet life in all godliness and righteousness.”

Sincere and Warmest Aloha from “Paradise” )  Just & Joyous John!

Patrice,
I have been where you are, and am still climbing an incredible mountain which requires faith, perseverance and the will to not give up.  I have made a choice – I can be a Naomi; bitter and discouraged, or a Ruth; full of faith and obedient.  Take action to follow what you believe God has placed in your heart and when you encounter adverse circumstances that cause you to fall, make sure you don’t stay down for long.  Dust yourself off, wipe the tears from your eyes and start again.  God’s promises are true – no matter how long they take or how many obstacles you have to fight.  Look at the lives of Joseph, Daniel, Moses, Abraham, Ruth, David – they all had a waiting period.  What you do while you are waiting is key.

Thank you Dan Miller.  That word encourages me.  I have had moments of hating my job and loosing sight of how those jobs are working towards my purpose.  I must now repent and thank God.  The Bible says, “…all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28