Working hard – or workaholism?

Dan Miller —  October 6, 2010 — 16 Comments

Dear Dan — can you explain the difference between working hard and workaholism? Too many confuse the two and neglect their families, the Lord’s day rest, and the quality of life because they live for their employers and their jobs. So many families and churches are hurting because of the workaholism in the culture. Thanks, John

John, great question.  We do tend to glamorize workaholism in our culture when in fact it is much like any other negative addiction. Psychologists tell us that the incessant work-related activity is usually a mask for anxiety, low self-esteem, and relationship problems.  It’s easy to justify “work” rather than have to deal with those issues.  Typically poor health shows up as well, but again, we never criticize someone for having migraines, backache, or a heart attack.  More likely they just get more of our sympathy for all the work they are doing.

We look down on drug, alcohol, pornography or gambling addictions – but workaholism is called the “respectable addiction.”  Someone struggling with this is consumed with the idea that they are “the only one that can do the job right.”

Hard workers have some balance in their lives.  They are making deposits of success in physical, family, spiritual, and social areas of their lives.  They can be writing a proposal and thinking about being on the beach.  Workaholics sit on the beach and think about working.

Here are a few steps to avoid workaholism:

  • Set limits on the hours you devote to your job. (40-50 hrs max)
  • Dedicate time to develop your personal relationships.
  • Confront your fears of anxiety, low self-esteem, and relationship problems.
  • Define your worth without referencing what you “do.”   Who are you?
  • Engage in vigorous physical activity for 30 minutes at least 4 or 5 times a week.

When we are physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally well balanced, our work performance will improve.  Workaholism will decrease your value in any organization.  And you will be robbing success from other areas in your life.

If you you “don’t have time” for success in important areas of your life – then you may be a workaholic.

In No More Mondays, Personal Development , , , ,
permalink
  • http://www.joshbulloc.com Josh Bulloc

    I make a lot of effort in work life balance but it seems some of those around me at my day job try to make those of us feel like we are doing something wrong by making our life outside of work a priority.

    Josh Bulloc
    Kansas City, MO
    How can I help?

  • Sutton Parks

    This is amazing to me! I have never, ever heard workaholism mentioned in the same breath as drug or alcohol addiction. Or that it can be a “mask for anxiety, low self-esteem, and relationship problems.” I have friends that are high achievers and work constantly. They are considered ambitious. Growing up, my dad worked as much overtime in the foundry for GM as he could. He complained every day about the, “dusty, dirty foundry.” He taught us that work is a four letter word, but you’ve got to do it. Workaholism was considered responsible. I always thought I was lazy since I didn’t have those “ambitions”. Perhaps I am just finding a balanced life.

  • Carrie

    To that list I would have added: Don’t take your work problems home with you. (In other words, don’t dwell on them at home. That’s another way to be a workaholic. Don’t dwell on them on vacation, either. When you have nightmares about work–on vacation–you’re a little too devoted to the job.)

    Dan’s right about our culture glorifying workaholism. Sometimes I feel really guilty or lazy because I ONLY work ONE job. I only work 40 hours a week when most people work more and are expected to do so. Never mind that my job takes a lot out of me. I still feel like I don’t meet cultural expectations.

  • http://www.IAWAB.com Sandra Baptist | Int’l Assn of Women Accountants in Biz

    OMG! So true!

    Tell that to my fellow accountants and CPA’s who constantly bring home client work!

    They’re frustrated.

    [I think I need to interview you for the Association. :) ]

    Great post!
    @SandraBaptist

  • John

    Glad everyone liked the question. I had a job a few years back where I LIVED FOR THE EMPLOYER. I worked probably everyday of the week almost (made a bit of money) I neglected church, relationships, and everyone but my employer. My pastor confronted me and said to find a new job, but I did not listen, that was until I complained a little to my employer about the mass hours, and they realized they were killing me, and it was not long until they found someone else. But its okay as God got me out of there!

    Balancing working hard and workaholism can be hard, since I am often looked down upon because I only want to work 40 hrs, and some overtime. Thank goodness my current employer wants to make sure we do not work 50+ hrs a week for 3 weeks in a row for this month!

    John

  • Dawn

    Dan,

    There is no doubt about it, my loving, wonderful natured husband is a work-aholic and has been since the day I met him. It was one of the traits I was actually drawn too…being a hardworker… We have tried over the years to cut his work schedule back, he has always had at least 2, usually 3 jobs. 5 years agao we became heavily involved in FPU and we have been on and off the program, however that seems to always be his excuse, he is working so hard to be free of debt and have a great retirement that he forgets to have balance…..I love him immensily and have seen myself become acccustomed to this behavior as I do enjoy the lifestyle we keep al be it missing him. I try to work more to counter balance but still see a problem…what to do?

  • Scott

    Wow. I am a manager at a Fortune 500 production facility. They have a place on the employee website that talks about how important work-home balance is, but the expectations are clearly 55 – 60 hours a week is appropriate and they make it seem like that is what EVERYONE is doing. I have young kids that I try to coach in sports and remain connected to, but every new day brings additional tasks that will either result in me doing a poor job (and associated self worth issues) or too much time spent at work. I am having a very difficult time taking care of my body (physical fitness), my spiritual needs, my family needs in conjunction with 55 – 60 hours of week in what I refer to as the War Zone (work). Help!!!!

  • Wendy H.

    Dan,
    This article and the following remarks by others helps to put workaholism (or as I like to say “Work-all”ism as in work ALL the time) into perspective.

    I really appreciate your checklist that helps us all to determine whether we are indeed consumed by work and letting work consume our relationships.

    Carrie, I especially liked your comment about not taking work problems home with you. While this is more prevelant in careers where we help people (ministry, counseling, medical, etc.) it is essential for all of us to understand that although emotionally we should feel ideally the same whether we are working or playing, physically we need to make our work and our play different. We only attempt to deceive ourselves if we work all the time and consider that play.

    Dawn, my heart goes out to you. I admire your goals to be debt-free and live debt free utilizing Dave Ramsey’s FPU plan but your husband’s actions are creating a deficit (of him) in your life and revealing a deficit in his own life. There is an emotional need that is being met by working for him. It could be something as basic as he is a Choleric personality type and Cholerics thrive on the “get something to do and get it done” way of living. The more a Choleric gets done the better they feel about themselves. (I know this because I am one.) =) While on the surface this seems an admirable trait, in reality the success at the office comes with a price and that price is usually in our relationships. Dawn, you have been very transparent with us and I hope that you can talk as openly with your husband and make it clear to him that in additional to the jobs he works as a profession he also has a job or a work at home and that is to be your husband. I would encourage you, Dawn, as your husband does his work as a husband to praise him, let him feel the emotional rewards of a job well-done at home. Take no kind action for granted or treat it as something he should do anyways just because he is your husband, even if it is a little thing or even if it isn’t exactly how you wanted it done – praise him and affirm him in his role in your life. Tell him what your real needs are and then both of you work to dedicate yourselves to the work of the relationship so that when it does come time to “live like no one else” you will have the close relationship as a team and the two of you can appreciate the rewards together.

    The relationship and the ability to communicate and mutually meet each other’s needs is the soul of marriage and we are taught that “what does it profit you if you gain the whole world but lose your soul?” and “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.”

  • Keith Timmons

    Dan. You are correct. The idea that we should live at work (whatever our work is) is not an idea from God. I’ll be straight: living at work is humanistic at best and satanic at worst. Great article!

  • http://www.leadinginstilettos.com Nathalie Gregg

    The checklist is a powerful tool. Being a workaholic is very easy to do. One day you step on the merry-go-round of the rat race and you have no idea of how to get off. Your are so right work-related activity is usually a mask for a variety of challenges. It’s easy to justify “work” rather than have to deal with those issues. Poor health is part of what they call the executive syndrome. The hypertension, elevated cholesterol, migraines, insomnia, anxiety attacks, and muscle aches are just battle scars. That is what a group of male executives told me when I return after my blood pressure hit stroke level from my first stint as a workaholic.

  • Chris

    Unfortunately I am currently tied into a job that dictates a work a holic. 70-80 hours a week is not unheard of. I do realize that many other parts of my life are sufferring because of it. The problem is I’ve looked at making some major changes, but am also in the trap that I can’t afford much of a pay cut due to bills we have. Keep praying folks and we’ll all make it!

  • Jack

    Thanks. I have let my job consume my life to the point that I am so tired by the time Friday night arrives, all I want to do is stay home. We haven’t seen our grandchildren in several months becuase I’m too tired to make the 4 hour drive to the city where they live.

  • John

    Chris,

    I worked at such a job a few years back. They were working me early in the morning to late at night 6-7 days a week. I made good money, but eventually I had a very big fit due to the workaholism of the job and eventually they found someone else to pay the good salary in a depressed job market. It was not difficult to find someone else, as so many were looking for a job at that time and in that area of high unemployment. But whatever I took a pay cut for the better.

    John

  • Linda

    Thank you for the inspiring and encouraging articles. I do love my work. and Workinghard sounds the reaal me. The problem is : I need help to systemize and manage my thoughts so I can be much productive and in a very limited time. Thanks !

  • http://moneyfunnel.wordpress.com Jake

    One of my co-workers will be on vacation (without travel) for the next two weeks, and she plans to visit customers while on break. I’m thinking “huh? what the?” She asked the manager if he will allow her to stop by the office to work on a few things, and received a firm NO. Thank goodness. It’s great to work for someone that works hard yet respects the balance!

  • Lonnie Roberts

    I was raised up working for a workaholic and to have great respect for workaholics. I too have been accused of being a workaholic. As I have grown with my own businesses I have learned that most of the workaholics I worked for and respected when I was younger were all forced to quit working or died at early ages due to health and stress related illness. I have tried to balance my life insisting on making sure I set aside time for exercise, personal development and family. I do know hard work goes hand in hand with being self-employed but you must find a balance or life will not be worth living.